Breaking: Cassie From Euphoria Officially Declared Scariest Costume by Your Situationship Who’s Definitely a Virgin

"Boo!," you say as you enter the common area of your 03 dorm room. You're a sophomore, and this is totally your year. Your situationship is sitting there awkwardly, perched on your couch. This is the first time you've hung out before 10 P.M. You've never seen his face in lighting this harsh. Why is it so square?

His eyes light up - excitement and then panic and fear warp his face. 

"Do you like my costume?", you say. You give a spin as your cowboy boots tap harshly against the ground. The blonde wig you bought itches. The blue corset you've stuffed yourself into starts to come undone.

"I'm Cassie from Euphoria!," you tell him eagerly.

"Uh, yeah, I, I, I know." Did he always have this stutter?

Why is he dressed up as Patrick Bateman? The ends of his clear rain coat are already caked in dirt. His axe looks real and decisively sharp. Did he own the axe before he decided on this costume? Dear God. This is going to be a long night.

Anyway, be positive! It'll be great! And he's probably more nervous than you are anyway...