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That’s right, fuckers. Daniel has been talking about it for a while, but this time it’s serious. He has a spreadsheet, he’s got Adobe Photoshop, and most importantly he’s memorized his step-dad’s credit card info. Question is, did you fill out the Google Form asking you which shirt you’d buy? Because, let’s face it, Daniel is finally thinking about starting a streetwear brand.
Under the Button has confirmed reports that Penn President Amy Gutmann spends up to three hours per day perfecting her high-five.
I’ll say it. Penn has a problem with stereotypes. If you’re in Golden Geese or Common Projects, you’re in the scene. Bean Boots? Frat Star. Doc Martens and you probably don’t fall into those other two categories. But too often people assume I’m just another ‘Tech Bro’ because my shoes of choice are a pair Allbirds™ sneakers. Yes, they’re comfortable, and yes, they are machine washable. But just because it’s easy to match a pair of Allbirds™ with any outfit doesn’t mean I’m a match for Facebook or Google.
Media murmurs on Monday hypothesized a split-ticket choice, or even abstention. But on Tuesday, College sophomore Danny Bowers has reportedly held the party line, answering ‘D’ for every question on his economics midterm.
In a groundbreaking report from the National Institute on Drug Abuse, scientists revealed that cocaine usage among college students plummeted in the fall and winter months. The reason: icky-sticky nose boogers.
Autumn is here, and you know what that means: pumpkin spice, potpourri, and fresh outbreaks of hand foot and mouth disease. Here at Penn we live in more of a petri dish than a melting pot, and so as you slowly fall apart this October and November, check out these 5 supplemental vitamins whose sole function is to keep you operating at a basic human level.
Woah there bucko! Git that duelin’ look out yer eyes. Yup, I see yer hand hoverin’ right over yer damn holster, and I ain’t about to end up like Six Finger Frank. You’re saying I’m the one lookin’ for trouble? Slow down! I ain’t lookin’ to duel-- it’s just so cold I had to put my hands in my front pockets.
Move over OCR, and make room for OAR (Office of Oceanic and Atmospheric Research). After being praised by the meteorological community for his insight that “it’s kinda wild it can get this warm in October,” College junior Matt Hellerman has been called on to helm the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).
These are trying times in our country, especially for the young generation. Since the 2016 election, the need to not just be a student, but also an active citizen, is greater than ever. Platforms like Twitter have allowed me to stay more aware of the issues surrounding the Trump administration—especially Robert Mueller's investigation into possible collusion with Russia. That said, I have a psych midterm this Tuesday, so if Bob Mueller could just wrap things up a little sooner, I’d really appreciate it.
It was set to certainly be the trial of the century, or, at least, the trial of the 2018-19 school year. Two freshmen candidates for class board had been accused of improper campaign actions, and, on a Sunday morning, the Nominations and Elections Committee (NEC) began what would be a nine hour trial to determine the truth. With outcry by some over the what was seen as unnecessarily long process, the NEC on Monday released a statement saying it will try better in the future to get to a nice, even ten hours.
In a bold decision certain to send shockwaves through both the University and Hollywood, College junior Max Rather inked a deal with 20th Century Fox on Tuesday for distribution of his short film “Birthright Vlog 2018!”
The students of CLST: 201, Introduction to Greek Literature are still reeling what from what one could only call an act of divine interpretation. Reading from a passage of Homer's "The Odyssey," junior Charlie Bateman slipped into an English brogue, which classmates have described as though Apollo himself were plucking Bateman's vocal chords.
This guy lost his toothbrush, so now he puts toothpaste on everything. Here is his story.
Alums share their thoughts on some of the biggest campus issues: dissection, gluten, and so much more.
Penn's spiciest publication takes on Penn's spiciest bowl.
Sometimes a well-defined jawline just isn't enough.
We collaborated with a University-approved bartender to showcase a number of classic drinks and some seasonal ones, too. Bottoms up!