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(09/12/19 12:36pm)
College is a time for trying new things and finding out what you love. For Freshman Mike Tannenbaum, his new college hobby has become drinking until he vomits — at least once a week. According to Tannenbaum's friends, they think it’s so fine and cool he has something he’s passionate about and are happy for him and not concerned.
(09/06/19 4:51pm)
Hey friend! This party’s pretty cool. How was summer? It flew by, right?
(06/17/19 2:34am)
Fraternities across campus have already begun the exciting process of establishing a fall event schedule — with whom will they mix? What themes will their events have? What incompatible flavors of alcohol will join together to create the most suspicious smelling, albeit drinkable, Jungle Juice?
(06/10/19 3:13am)
I won’t get ahead of myself. You know, it’s not that serious.
(04/30/19 4:16pm)
In a video posted last Thursday morning, Presidential Professor of Practice Joe Biden announced his plans to run for President of the United States in an effort to prove, once and for all, that Hillary Clinton would have won her election if she had a penis.
(04/24/19 5:10am)
Getting an internship can be tough. You send out application after application just to get rejected. Many times, you won’t even be dignified with a response. Despite the challenging process, there is nothing like the feeling of finally getting that summer internship. It is a huge confidence boost. And, yes, the internship wasn’t from any of the 30 organizations you applied to. It’s an internship with your dad’s college roommate who comes to Passover every year and also happens to be Chief Development Strategist at IBM, but still, awesome gig — and they wanted you!
(04/17/19 1:50pm)
If you’re not into magic, stop reading now. Birthright just pulled off one of the wildest illusions in history. After 10 raucous days in the holy land, Birthright left Sophie Golden really believing that everything in Israel is “B’seder.”
(04/08/19 1:49pm)
This past Sunday, researches in Penn’s department of sociology announced that Castle’s Magic Gardens event would not be coming back, and, no, it wasn’t canceled. In a press conference to the University, Dr. Tanvi Kapoor revealed that her team in Penn’s sociology department was behind this round of tickets, not the fraternity. She explained that they never had any tickets available to sell, and, instead, her team orchestrated the online ticket sale interface as part of a study to see the intersection between “privilege and want.”
(04/04/19 5:54am)
In an unprecedented policy change, Starbucks under commons has announced that they plan to stop bullying customers.
(04/01/19 5:49pm)
PENENE ADMDMMITED 34535353 OUT OF 4 APPLICANTS FORO THE CLASSOF 3202 – THE LOWOESTS ADCCPETANCE RATE TO AGFDTATE AT 7000 PERCENT.
(04/01/19 5:32pm)
AN PENN UDNERGRAUYDATE WAS SDIAGNOED WIHT A LABCOCNFINEMED CAUYSE LOF THE EMUKMPS FOLLWOWING AN OTUBREAK ATTMTPLE UNVIERSITITY TAT HAAS SICKNENED AT LREAST 100B STUDNENTS ACOOIRDN TO A MARCH 2777777777 EMAL FORRM PEMNNN AMDMINSIATRATORS.
(04/01/19 4:51pm)
PNN BROK ANOTHER RECODS THIS YEAR WITH ITS NEW SLOWEST EVER OVERRLAL ACCEPTANCE RATE FO R7.44 PRECENT!!!!!!!
(04/01/19 4:29pm)
DOBBERY:
(04/01/19 4:24pm)
STUDNET HERD FROM INVESTRSR ND ENTRPENRNTU, INTCTERTSTWD WITH PRGOMAM ALINMUN, ND SAW PRENSNTNSINS OF SINOERN STUNDTNT DESIGNSIGN PRJORECSTS.
(04/01/19 4:27pm)
UNTIED STATES APORTE LAURAT TRACY SMITH SPOKE POLITICALE TECHNO TECNOLG TECHONOLOG CULTURE AT PHILWE MATHEPN SOCIETY. SMITH, WHO BOOK PUBLISH ON AM PHILOMATHEAN SOCIETY ANNUAL ORA TAO ORATION READ POETRY.
(03/19/19 1:54pm)
This St. Patrick’s Day transformed Penn’s campus into a sea of green, orange and white (frat brothers) to celebrate our boi Saint Patrick (who converted thousands and forcefully exiled the druids from Ireland :/ )!
(03/18/19 12:57pm)
Early last Monday, College junior Kelly Tanenbaum was tapped for a senior society, but one of the ones where it’s just cool because you’re in a senior society and not one anyone really pines after. According to anonymous sources the society is “fine” and “not really comparable to Friars.”
(03/13/19 1:24pm)
A hero and medical genius is on the loose at the University of Pennsylvania according to a report from a wounded partygoer after a particularly wild Friday night out.
(02/26/19 3:05pm)
This spring break, after finally following through on a pipe dream to vacation together, Talia Sanders’ whole girl gang is ready to develop a deep hatred of each other in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico this spring break.
(02/25/19 4:26am)
Just moments ago, our very own Claire Sliney, a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences, won an Oscar. Her film Period. End of Sentence. follows a group of girls and women in a rural village outside New Delhi who fight back against India’s deeply rooted stigma surrounding menstruation. The film won an Academy Award for best documentary short subject.