Search Results
Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.
(06/26/20 3:58pm)
Penn President Amy Gutmann, Provost Wendell Pritchett, and Executive Vice President Craig Carnaroli sent an email to the Penn community on Thursday announcing plans for a hybrid in-person and online model for academic programming in the upcoming semester. As part of the plan, Penn is committing to providing all incoming freshmen with clinical depression come fall 2020.
(04/16/20 5:41pm)
Amy Guttman has revealed this year’s President’s Engagement Prize recipients, announcing a sum of $250,000 to Wharton students looking to try out some things in West Philadelphia.
(04/21/20 5:37pm)
A recent email sent out to the student body detailed the University's efforts to help members of the Penn community cope with the global pandemic. Despite concerns that the University was underprepared in its response, the email implies Penn's response to the COVID-19 crisis began as early as freshman orientation.
(04/18/20 6:51pm)
Sydney sits crossed-legged on the bench outside Castle, spending her last night with her friends before her drive back to the Suburbs of Philly for Coronacation. Her drugstore highlighter glistens in the moonlight as she quietly reflects on the invaluable experiences she's had this semester: frat hopping. Sydney takes a drag of her cigarette, inhaling a little bit too loudly and drawing the attention of her friends. She thinks to herself, “my life is like a movie.”
(03/12/20 7:24pm)
As the conference call began for URBS 250: City Planning for Climate Change, students began to realize that Professor Stanley Markowitz was going to be that close to the camera the entire call.
(03/29/20 5:51pm)
Meet Jessica, an HSOC sophomore whose strongest personality trait is being lactose intolerant. Despite never having confirmed her condition with a doctor, mentions of her lactose intolerance have manifested in areas such as her go-to fun fact, two truths and a lie, and her LinkedIn skills.
(03/06/20 6:06am)
Did you hear that?? Professor Gershwin just said the F word. No, not “fiscal conservatism,” dumbass. He said “fuck,” with his own mouth, in class!
(03/24/20 4:46pm)
Doctoral candidate in Political Science and regional expert on equitable urban housing, Jamie Fernandez, is putting her knowledge to good use, serving as a glorified "Apple Genius" for Professor James Thompson, the 75-year-old man teaching PSCI 246: Introduction to Urban Policy.
(03/03/20 5:42am)
Yesterday I was on Twitter and I saw a jarring image. Michael Bloomberg shared a picture of his campaign office in Flint, Michigan. “Eat the Rich” had been spray painted over the door. I couldn’t believe it. When did destruction of property become okay? When did that become proper political discourse?
(03/06/20 5:42am)
Although having the biggest and juiciest ass on campus has its advantages, I am often put in positions where I am forced to adapt to Penn’s flat-ass culture. For example, no amount of twisting or clenching can get me past the Fisher Fine Arts library turnstiles with ease — but I persevere. What lies beyond those discriminatory turnstiles is heaven: sturdy chairs equipped with cushions two times thicker than quad mattresses.
(05/03/21 8:38pm)
College junior and incel Jared More recently announced he’d be giving up sex for lent this year. More, both a devout Catholic and a member of the involuntary celibate community, will not be having sex during this year’s Lenten season.
(06/17/20 4:00am)
Multiple reports have come in that Carla Jameson (C ‘22) is now smoking a full pack of cigarettes a week. While it is true that she is majoring in Health and Societies, and therefore studying the intersection of health and medicine in a social context, she has applied exactly none of that knowledge to her own life.
(02/28/20 6:19am)
It's only been ten seconds since your closest pal Cynthia went to the bathroom and abandoned you with her other friend, yet it feels like three millennia at least. You think his name is Jeff, but who could be sure? It’d be so awkward to ask now. Quick, it’s been silent for too long. Say something!
(02/29/20 4:57pm)
A joint study done by the University of Pennsylvania Veterinary School and the Perelman School of Medicine concludes that many horses are being tranquilized on the Philadelphia college campus.
(03/01/20 5:00am)
Look people, math is a lot. The tests are hard, the TAs aren’t hot, and the department is homophobic. Math should have no place on this campus, except that sadly, it does. And that place is named David Rittenhouse Laboratory: the crustiest building just west of the Schuylkill.
(02/26/20 5:00am)
Reports are in that all of Jessica’s friends hate her and it’s so sad and obvious. Jessica self-reported the news to Under the Button last night noting that she “couldn’t explain why,” but that our reporters “wouldn’t get it anyway.”
(05/03/21 8:39pm)
Hey.
(02/19/20 5:00am)
Hannah R. Figueroa (C ’19) doesn’t smoke weed. And she doesn’t have to. While other party-goers become intoxicated by the social atmosphere and its paraphernalia, Figueroa needs only to step outdoors and travel west towards her home in order to derive the same high.
(02/18/20 6:22am)
FirstServices is rolling out a new service this semester. This student-run company usually focuses on “Making Penn Life Easy” by washing the nicotine out of Canada Geese and provoding the rich and incompetent with a laundry and dry cleaning service.
(12/16/20 5:00am)
In a campaign to get more volunteers for medical research on intrauterine devices (IUDs), Penn Medicine is going in a new marketing direction, specifically asking sluts if they want a free IUD.