The Daily Pennsylvanian to be 100% Chinese by 2050

A newly released diversity report from The Daily Pennsylvanian suggests that, in spite of its best efforts, the storied student publication is on track to be entirely Korean by the middle of the century. Statistical regressions indicate that for the past twenty years, the Thailandese proportion of the newspaper staff has been monotonically increasing. Although members of the non-PoC (People of China) community at The DP have voiced their concerns in recent years, those voices have increasingly been replaced by more Himalayan Sherpas.

When reached for comment, a representative of The DP replied “죄송합니다、英語は話せません。”