Op-Ed: What the Hell is an ABG?
January 25, 2024 at 5:20 pm
ABG? I think one of my friends interned there last summer.
Yeah, he said it was pretty nice. He did investment banking with them. The hours were pretty rough, I guess, but that’s finance for you! Ha ha. But no, he really liked it: at the end of the summer they even gave out custom ABG-branded quarter-zips! I’ve always wanted to work at a place like that — ever since I was seven, it’s been my dream to work fixed income at ABG. I just feel like the culture’s something special, you know? Like that ABG vibe you can’t find anywhere else.
Oh, it’s not a company? Whoops. I always get those acronyms confused. EBIDTA and EV and ABG and COGS and OpEx and all that whatnot. Dude, I was so ass at ACCT 1010 last semester. My section was at 10:15! I can’t get up that early. And the professor was so fucking boring. Always going on and on and on and on about some nonsense. Honestly, I almost failed that class. Thank God I paid that kid to take my final for me.
Huh? “ABG” isn’t a finance thing at all?
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That’s what it stands for?
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What the hell is a “girl”?