Afterwards, They Sell Your Soul To Google Cache

February is shaping up to be a rough month for Facebook. First, we learned that the use of our beloved social networking site leads to Prozac, then our parents ruined our favorite procrastination technique, and don't forget that whole debacle about how Facebook tried to own us for a while (by the way, has anyone checked out Google's "privacy policy" lately?). So maybe it shouldn't come as much of a surprise that in addition to its whopping list of negatives, Facebook will also probably kill us.

A new study shows that social networking might give you cancer. Apparently the increased isolation that comes with hours of stalking your friends, tagging photos, and playing online Scrabble changes your hormones and immune system functions to the point where too much Facebook can lead to dementia, heart disease, and a myriad of other health problems that make meningitis and measles pale in comparison.

So maybe it would be best to step away from our Facebooks from a while. But look at the bright side: there will be plenty of time to screw around on the Internet once you finally reach the Great Social Network in the sky.