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Roommate's COVID Plan Is Simply to “Vibe It Out”


Photo by Pixabay (with edits by Julia Ellis) / C00

Some students this semester believed that there needed to be an update to the roommate agreement that was designed upon move in and largely ignored ever since. The Google Doc titled Roommate Bullshit currently had rules like “if you vomit in the sink you must turn the garbage disposal on,” and “don’t have sex in my bed without changing the sheets.” Now however, Ashley insisted that the Google Doc needed to be opened for the first time since 2018. She reportedly wanted to “take this pandemic seriously” and “survive.” What a fucking bitch am I right? Ashley asked her roommates not to go to anymore ragers (including darties!!) until it was safe, to which her roommates offered a compromise. They all secretly thought that Ashley was just being an unreasonable asshole for asking for a closed pod but mostly wanted to get her off their back. Instead of agreeing to not party they agreed to simply vibe check the situation. 

When walking towards a sweaty basement party, the roommates explained that if the vibes were “off” they would go somewhere with better vibes instead. The foolproof plan would certainly prevent them all from getting Covid. When Ashley tried to say that you can’t just vibe check Corona, the other roommates accused her of not trusting their judgment or respecting their ability to sometimes be responsible adults. Honestly Ashley, if you want to survive so bad just move out, you’re ruining the vibes.