Penn in Washington Opens New Campus in Spokane

Penn President J. Larry Jameson announced on Monday a radical expansion of the coveted Penn in Washington semester program: a new campus in Spokane. Traditionally PIW students spend the entirety of their semester in the District of Columbia. However, during a press conference introducing the initiative, a representative from the Provost’s office proudly declared “The program will be the best program introducing our political science students to Washington yet. Just now in Spokane.”

While it remains unclear what exactly students in the Spokane program are signed up for, the first cohort has already arrived in the city. 

“I thought Spokane was pretty cool at first, but then I stepped off the plane.” said Corbin Davidson, a student enrolled in the program’s fall semester. “Hey, at least weed is legal here.”

Penn facilities is in the process of renovating a homeless shelter in the city’s downtown, which they purchased in July, into a luxury dormitory. In the meantime, the program is relying on locals to host students in their houses. 

“When I first heard about it, I was confused,” said host Marc Bobbins. “Like, ‘Penn State’? Turns out Penn is a different school. In Philadelphia! I’d like to go there someday and see the Liberty Bell and Cooper DeJean.” 

Students interested in the program are encouraged to reach out to their advisors with any questions. Applications for the spring cohort, which will be led by famous Spokane resident and critical race theory professor Rachel Dolezal, open on September 17th and close on September 17th. 

“I think it’s a really exciting opportunity,” said professor Emilia Hakson, an advisor in Penn’s department of Political Science. “Actually, off the record, I think it’s an exciting opportunity for me, because I plan on sending my most annoying students there. This is all off the record, right?”