Jane Goodall to be Rewarded 72 Chimpanzees in Heaven

In a beautiful display of divine love, God has granted Jane Goodall a reward of 72 chimpanzees in Heaven. The acclaimed primatologist, known for her over six decades of field research, developed a deep and emotional relationship with the primates whom she studied over her lifetime. Now, God has graciously allowed her to continue this bond, granting her 72 fair-skinned, eternally youthful, lovely-eyed, and vestally pure chimpanzees.

Reports indicated that some of the chimpanzees granted to Goodall will be new, unfamiliar faces, while others will be the chimpanzees of her past. David Greybeard, a primate from Gombe Stream National Park, for example, is already a confirmed member of Goodall's enclosure. Despite the mix of apes old and new, the heavenly angel requested for comment was proud to announce there would be no interpersonal rivalries or jealously between the primates in regards to Dr. Goodall's attention: "because they'll be with Jane for eternity, everyone can have their fun!"

Evidently, the workings of heaven are not only miraculous but exceedingly just. Despite Dr. Goodall's death, through the will of God Jane can now continue monkeying around at least 72 more times.