Couple That Has Already Been Inside Each Other Nervous for First Date

After an especially raucous weekend, students James McDowell (W ‘26) and Melissa Arking (C ‘27) can’t help but feel nervous for their first date despite having already been inside each other just this past weekend. Having floated drinks at Smokes or a coffee at Pret for their next hangout, the two eventually settled on frozen yogurt at Kiwi–a location whose vibe sits right in the middle of romance and networking.

However, despite the excellent location choice, both students still expressed concerns. “What are we supposed to talk about?” asked Melissa, who had whispered sweet-nothings into James' ear all throughout the night last Saturday. “What if she doesn’t like me?” panicked James, who had shared one of the most intimate forms of connection humanly possible with Melissa only a few days ago. 

Having seen each other naked last Saturday, the two students are terrified of what the other might think now that both their clothes will be on. 

At press time, the threat of normal overhead lighting, calming ambiance, and the absence of alcohol led the two to decide that this was never going to work out and promptly canceled their plans.