Dyslexic Penn Student Contracts Chlamydia in Preparation for SDT Mixer

According to the Weingarten Center, 20% of undergraduates report having dyslexia: a learning disorder characterized by difficulties in reading, writing, and spelling. The Center provides accommodations for those who self-identify with such difficulties. However, not all students know when to reach out for help with their dyslexia.

One “Student X,” who wishes to remain anonymous, was uniquely affected by his condition last weekend—when, having read his fraternity’s plans for a mixer with the Sigma Delta Tau sisterhood, he mistakenly contracted chlamydia.

“I did some pretty wild stuff for hazing this semester—like, all voluntary, though,” Student X hesitantly shared with UTB (which he had misread as “TUB” before staff assured him that Under the Button bore no connection to the tub of semen-infused ice cream he consumed after bid day). “When I got the text that we were having an STD mixer, I figured there was only one thing to do.”

Although Student X has since sought treatment for both his conditions via phonics instruction and antibiotics, he asked UTB to report that he was not ashamed of either diagnosis. The student proclaimed that he intended to “double-fist” his afflictions with pride, as in other areas of life. Unfortunately, his confidence was short-lived—UTB staff regretted to inform Student X that chlamydia is technically an STI, not an STD. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” the student lamented, inconsolable. 

Following the interview, UTB staff encouraged Student X to seek support for his learning condition at Weingarten. He readily agreed. 

“I’d say my takeaway from this experience is that no one should be embarrassed to ask for help. If someone had read that text for me, they could’ve helped me research a real STD to catch instead of an STI.”