Student Putting Off Work for Snow Day Racks Up 16 Screentime Hours on Weather App
Some people lose hours scrolling through Instagram Reels. Others get a little too engrossed in their Clash Royale games. For Penn freshman Julio McElroy (C’29), the Weather app is his drug of choice, delivering hourly doses of false hope with a 100% chance of procrastination.
McElroy, not an aspiring meteorologist, racked up 16 screentime hours on the Weather app last Sunday as he prayed to a god he does not believe in to cancel school that coming Monday so that he could use the day to “catch up on work,” a phrase he reportedly defines as “opening Canvas in a different tab.”
Neighbors heard yelling from his room as he anxiously closed, reopened, quit, and then tapped its icon again, his heart rate spiking whenever the predicted temperature rose to the 40s before mercifully dropping back down into the low 30s. At one point, McElroy reportedly whispered “stay cold, stay cold” to his phone, as if the atmosphere were a sentient being capable of mercy.
McElroy remained dedicated to his watchful post from 12 a.m. to nearly 5 p.m. Sunday, a time span during which he could have easily completed the three readings and discussion post he had to do, applied for at least two jobs, restructured his entire sleep schedule, and perhaps even found inner peace.
When the fateful 4:50 p.m. UPennAlert canceling classes Monday hit, McElroy told UTB that he felt “liberated.” “This is huge for my productivity,” he said, immediately lying down.
He then read the email a little further and saw that all of his classes had moved online due to Penn’s revised SNO (Suspension of Normal Operations) day policy. Not to fear, McElroy skipped all of them to continue monitoring the Weather app, just in case conditions somehow worsened indoors.
By Monday evening, McElroy had expanded his analysis to include radar maps, precipitation percentages, and a brief but intense fixation on Canadian weather patterns “just to see what they’re dealing with.”
At 6:59 p.m., a second UPennAlert confirmed that normal operations would resume Tuesday. Sources report McElroy took this as a sign that he should begin stressing about next weekend instead.
Over the course of the entire three-day weekend, McElroy impressively managed to complete zero assignments, successfully converting what could have been a productive break into what experts are calling “advanced-level avoidance.”
Nevertheless, we could learn a thing or two about hope from McElroy, who pried his eyes from the glowing screen of his iPhone just long enough to tell UTB, “I’m pretty optimistic about next Monday.”
