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How to Merge the Ego and the Self in the Huntsman Bathroom Mirror

(12/05/22 3:18pm)

The place might have been commissioned by Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani. Laminated floor to ceiling, every surface a design boardroom’s fervent debate, a commemoration of wealth so immediately productive of crowds and jammed traffic that going to class evokes the splendor of attending a 2016 makeup product launch at a Los Angeles mall, the one-hundred-forty-million-dollar Huntsman Hall manages to strike a nerve in anyone who steps foot inside.  Can you belieeeeve Pret has four Philadelphia locations, and TWO of them are in Huntsman Hall: one on the ground floor, and one on the second floor, for the MBAs of course. 

OP-ED: You Can’t Kick Me Out of a GSR in a Way That Matters

(11/21/22 6:07pm)

The first fire was the fire of falsehood, “when we do not fulfill what we promised.” Next came the fire of avarice, “when we place our love of worldly riches before the riches of Heaven,” then the fire of discord, “when we do not fear to offend the souls of our neighbors even in superficial matters,” and the fourth the fire of irreverence, “when we think it nothing to despoil and defraud those weaker than ourselves.” The four rolodexed through my mind as I made my daily trek to the dining hall. Interactions all doomed from the start. Damned by their own inertia, they collapse in on themselves and follow this tragic pattern. 

I'm Healing My Inner Child by Posting on Sidechat

(09/05/22 3:28pm)

Some nights, before going to bed, a strange figure appears to me in the mirror of the Harnwell College House high-rise dorm I brush my teeth in front of. He’s like me, only shorter (in height and hair length). His face is round, the kind of round that your aunt’s ballet friends would probably comment on in a fatphobic way in the summer of 2012. It’s me, my inner child!

BREAKING: Girl in Off-Campus Sorority Hat Says “It's Giving,” Whole Table Laughs

(03/17/22 3:45pm)

God, this girl is so rogue. Basically, you’re sitting in your recitation group for your ancient greek history class, and the girl across the table from you says, “it’s giving boring.” Holy shit. She is so funny. How am I such a fool to not think to string together such words myself. Her parents are Republicans but she is bisexual. That is really cool. You open Instagram and see her Parade ads. It’s so cool that she’s an influencer.

Wharton Student Opens Dictionary To Random Page, Discovers “Middle Class” On Page 453

(02/23/22 5:36pm)

It was a day like any other in Professor Nina Strohminger’s Wharton classroom (*WARNING* the author of this article goes to the less important school at Penn and is making conjectures about what a Wharton classroom is like), virtual, that is. Students donned in Lululemon and Canada Goose opened their Excel-doing, high-speed laptops for a riveting lecture about holding hands and coloring inside the lines, and maybe some business ethics.