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(11/03/16 11:01pm)
Last week, a marketing student got a lesson that he never thought possible in a Wharton classroom. College sophomore Lucas Weiner shared his unnerving experience with UTB, saying that he was "just sitting there listening to the lecture for what seemed like a really long time. At some point I checked the clock." This is when Weiner came to a harrowing revelation: only 45 minutes had passed since class began. "I thought that maybe my phone was set to a time zone somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic. This just wasn't the case," Weiner laments.
(10/19/16 8:42pm)
UTB has been alerted of some high-profile information regarding everyone's favorite Medical Emergency Response Team, MERT. While they handle many a drunk student, they tend to handle a ton from Gregory College House in particular. Why is this? Are Gregorians much worse at handling their liquor? Do they have a tendency to drink away their sorrows of not being admitted into New College House?
(10/19/16 5:47pm)
Atlas is a new senior society that apparently exists! Atlas was formed in 2016 but has been in use since the mid-16th century. The first atlas was the De Summa totius Orbis, created by Italian cartographer Pietro Coppo. We reached out to Mr. Coppo for comment on the new senior society that, as a surprise to many, exists. He wasn't immediately available for comment.
(10/17/16 4:15pm)
Rodin flooded late last week, thoroughly ruining everyone's Thursday night. While the damage was great across the board, here are the eight most severe losses of the evening.
(10/11/16 8:35pm)
On Monday, John Day (C'19), burst into his 200 person ECON 001 lecture, slick with sweat and thoroughly winded. He entered the Claudia Cohen Hall classroom at 11:03, three minutes past the beginning of class. He told UTB that he slept through his alarm, and rushed to grab his coat before sprinting out of his modest apartment in the low-40s.
(10/05/16 3:56pm)
OUTRAGE!
(10/04/16 3:50pm)
Mono week continues! Take our new and scientifically-valid quiz to determine whether you have mononucleosis or you're just...bored.
(09/23/16 7:00pm)
Communication is a key component of everyday life. Something as simple as a broken caps lock key can make the difference between a pleasant, respectful interaction and an overtly aggressive one. Jacob Edwards (C'20) recently learned this lesson.
(09/19/16 6:36pm)
It began as an innocent question and, as always, it devolved into some ethical gray-areas on reddit. While Wannabe I Banker did not explicitly state that someone should simply steal expensive vacuums (Hoover is an iconic brand) from staff, the implication is clear. Stealing from upstairs is probably easy enough, but there may be a need for some Ocean's Eleven-style heisting if the original poster doesn't live in the high-rises.
(09/15/16 3:31pm)
It's that time of year again! Click below to figure out which group to join!
(09/14/16 12:44am)
Leonel Fernández has just followed Under The Button on twitter! It's unexpected to say the least but we are glad to have earned his support. Be like Leonel, follow us on twitter @underthebutton! Also, please refer our page to any friends of yours who have held any form of high office or have otherwise had major influence over a significant number of people.
(09/13/16 10:09pm)
Jon Dietrich (W'18) thought that he had it all: a briefcase, daily GSR reservations, and a truly-refined LinkedIn profile. He felt like he was on top of the world. "It was only natural that I begin my quest to ascend to Wall Street glory at the OCR information session for Goldman Sachs," Dietrich told UTB. He continued, saying, "I wanted to go into 'investment banking'. I'm not sure of what that would entail, but I'm positive that it's exactly what I want to do with my life."
(09/07/16 6:34pm)
On Friday, freshman Lucas Weiner (C'20) lost his virginity in his 8x8' residence in the Lower Quad. While many consider this to be a crowning achievement, Weiner wasn't all that impressed.
(09/04/16 10:09pm)
It's no secret that both Obama daughters are currently on Penn's campus, attending brunches and getting rejected from Phi parties. What is a secret, however, is Malia's visit to our Chipotle earlier today. We went to Chipotle to ask the question on everybody's mind, what did Malia Obama order? The answer will SHOCK you.
(05/06/16 5:28pm)
Given up all hope? Utilize the immense power of the geode! Don't know which geode to use? Our experts here have created a foolproof method of figuring it out. Take our quiz!
(05/02/16 9:13pm)
Which school within Penn do you belong to? We don't know! But you do! See if our quiz can guess the right answer!
(05/02/16 4:41pm)
Thanks to a UTB tipster, we've unearthed this sketch by Wharton Follies! You might be thinking, "oh what a great commentary that seeks to mock the unfair stereotypes of those poor, oppressed Whartonites." BUT the stereotypes are all too real. If anything, the sketch reinforces the stereotypes, only perpetuating the plight of the Whartonite.
(04/29/16 7:07pm)
Penn's Free and For Sale page: a place of wonder and beauty that sends you 45 Facebook notifications per day. Most of the page is mundane but there are some hidden treasures within. Here are our picks for some of the best of Penn's Free and For Sale:
(04/22/16 2:02pm)
Found in the quad earlier this week, this insightful poster calls for addressing certain issues regarding the mistreatment of White Anglo-Saxon Protestants on Penn's campus (we would include some examples here but we haven't been made aware of any).
(04/20/16 7:55pm)
10. Biochemistry -- How else are we going to engineer new, dank strains of the stickiest of the icky? The world needs Biochem majors.