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(12/09/17 5:05pm)
For 5 years, I’ve spent countless days and nights with my trusty scissors cutting out box tops to make a difference in this sad, cold world. And there were good times and bad times. Times when I was discouraged that I could never make a difference, and times when I felt like I was on top of the world. Through the lows and the highs I kept going because I knew one day my hard work would be rewarded.
(12/08/17 5:35am)
When she got the notification that her roommate, Izzy*, had posted a photo in Official Unofficial Penn Squirrel Catching Club, Louisa Allen* was eager to see what kind of relatable content it would be. “Course registration reax only,” the caption read, followed by a picture of an empty schedule. By the time Louisa clicked on the post, it had already garnered almost 30 likes, and multiple people had tagged friends in the comments.
(11/29/17 4:02pm)
It had been a long month. Evan Kaufmann was never one to give up on a good cause, but Mo’ Shave November was the hardest challenge he’d ever taken on. Both physically and emotionally, the past four weeks had taken a toll. Keeping with his commitment to shave more this November to raise awareness for men’s health, Evan was now completely hairless. Much like a naked mole rat, he spent the month unprotected from winter’s cold, and vulnerable to the concerned stares of other students as he brought out the shaving cream and razor in nearly every class.
(11/28/17 9:03am)
I don’t think I’m being dramatic when I say this is the worst goddamn thing that has ever happened to me. I bought a delicious looking cookie from a bake sale run by some blasted club at this godforsaken school, because my roommate begged me and said it would only cost me $1 on Venmo, and I looked forward to eating it the whole damn day. I finally got home after my last class of the day and aggressively ripped open my backpack to reveal the cookie, ready to be eaten at last. As I finally brought the pastry up to my mouth, I prepared myself for chocolatey goodness.
(11/21/17 6:15am)
Ah, American traditions. From Groundhog Day to President’s Day, it can be hard to keep track of the annual whims of the American people. Today, in preparation for Thanksgiving, one of the weirdest American traditions will occur - the turkey pardon.
(11/16/17 7:49pm)
Hey science-nerds, I bet you’ve been dreading hearing from me ever since it got cold out. Because now that the frigid weather is here, your little “theories” and “calculations” are being blown away by the cold wind. You people were so caught up in your ideas that the world is getting hotter, and now you walk outside and it’s cold out! You must feel so stupid! I’ll bet you gave away all your winter coats because you never thought you’d be needing those again, but turn on the weather channel, dorks. Pull up your weather app or maybe even step outside for a *hot* sec, four-eyes. It’s freaking cold out.
(11/14/17 5:23am)
A recent report from the Penn Administration notified students of a revision to the University’s Code of Academic Integrity following an incident that occurred during a GEOL100 midterm. An unnamed student pulled out a walkie talkie during the exam to ask his friend questions from the test. His friend, who took GEOL100 last semester because he actually "likes rocks", was reportedly sitting in their shared apartment flipping through his own notes.
(11/09/17 4:25am)
Ever since Amazon announced that it was looking for a city to host their second headquarters, people have been going crazy trying to get their city selected. Philadelphia is no exception — Amy Gutmann has been working with city officials and various groups on campus to woo the company and convince Amazon to settle down in the city of brotherly love.
(11/07/17 2:17pm)
Profanity
(11/02/17 4:09am)
It’s club/organization election time again, and the competition is fierce. As all Penn students have come to know, getting into college is just the beginning of the cutthroat application process. Students may get disheartened by the scarcity of opportunity for so many qualified applicants.
(10/31/17 7:02am)
It was quite a weekend. After several nights out with the whole squad and Samantha’s boyfriend, Wharton freshman Hannah Scofield was hungover, exhausted, and thoroughly Hallow-ed out. So upon waking up this morning to several posts on Facebook about Halloween, she was pretty annoyed. It has been two days since Halloweekend, she figured people should stop posting about it.
(10/27/17 3:58pm)
We’ve all been there: you ask your friends to hang out and they all say they're busy, but their Bitmojis are all pretty close together on the Snapchat map. How can you tell if they’re all hanging out without you? Take this quiz to find out.
(10/24/17 1:16pm)
You heard it here first: Millennials are killing the flu industry. A recent study by the University of Pennsylvania Center for Medical Research found that significantly fewer millennials are getting the flu than previous generations. While the Baby Boomers beat Generation X in flu diagnoses by a fairly large margin, this difference was blown away by the new numbers emerging from longitudinal studies at Penn. The results have revealed a decrease in flu diagnoses between Generation X and millennials of a magnitude never before seen.
(10/21/17 4:45pm)
The backpack leash market has been an unexplored industry for far too long. It certainly took guts for someone to expand into the adult market, but it was well worth it. For Lee Schmann (W ‘18), risk was never something that could stop him from going after a great idea.
(10/17/17 9:18am)
It’s been tough-going for the party scene at Penn recently. Due to the newly energized and well-funded task force dedicated to “preventing sexual assault,” our reputation as Playboy’s 2014 Top Party School has been getting tarnished all over the place. Not only are super hip, cool gaming sessions being shut down by the Penn Police, but less exciting frat parties are also being regulated and shut down left and right! Even Halloweekend is in danger of ruin due to the administration’s scheduling of October 31st on a Tuesday. The brightest thinkers at this great university have been struggling to find a way around these new constraints.
(10/12/17 8:52pm)
In one Wharton class, groups of students were tasked with creating Buzzfeed quizzes that would resonate with some target audience. Students used strategies they learned in this “Advertising Management” class to design their quiz, and some of them went viral on Buzzfeed, which was cool. Some of the other ones really sucked.
(10/03/17 4:59am)
It’s rare in this day and age to see an act of kindness as selfless as the one that took place this past Saturday. Perhaps out of regret for their actions last year, Penn’s Sprint Football team deliberately took a loss to the Army at home in what appeared to be a close game. The team certainly did sell their performance, coming back from a 17 point deficit to turn the match into a two score game at 24-14. At that point, the team “accidentally” missed several key plays to secure the win for Army. Talk about integrity!
(10/02/17 9:37pm)
Recently, The Daily Pennsylvanian published an article that detailed an Undergraduate Assembly proposal to count CIS courses toward the College Language requirement. As much as we love any idea that makes it seem like CIS students at Penn have the capacity to communicate with others, we would argue that the University is not doing enough (unlike the administration’s normal response to problems, which is consistently thorough and effective). Here are 9 things we believe should count for the College Language Requirement:
(09/26/17 6:48am)
As a convenient spot to work between classes and meetings or while waiting for your GSR to become available, the forum is often occupied by students squinting to read their notes under lights as dim as their OCR prospects. But why would such an expensive building, a building with so much money, a building with so many rich people and stuff, have such feeble illumination? Under the Button ventured to find out the truth, and it was shocking.
(09/23/17 5:38pm)
“It’s not even close, to be honest,” Jeffrey Windom told us of the game. “Amy has been ‘it’ for over two years now. I’m starting to think she’s given up!”