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This past Monday, more than 50 notable figures were charged in a college admissions fraud scandal. The involved parties exchanged millions of dollars to gain entry into big-name schools like Yale and Stanford.
Pleased to meet you all.
This past Wednesday, Kendall Jenner was spotted in local bar and grill City Tap House cracking open a few “cold ones” with 76ers point guard Ben Simmons. Though Jenner swore Tap House was her bar of choice, the hoards of Penn students waiting in line for Smokey Joe’s infamous “sink or swim” confirmed otherwise.
OMG. The Spotify Wrapped 2018 results are in — you spent 94,564 minutes being basic as hell this year! Looks like all those hours playing “Body” by Loud Luxury have finally paid off.
To Whom it May Concern,
Hey dudes. It’s me Steven. Sorry I’m late. I was hanging out with my girlfriend Katie. No, no, not Katie Smith — we broke up last month. I’m dating Katie Richards now. What? No, I don’t think I move on too quickly. I’m just a guy who knows what he needs — a relationship to bury the painful remnants of his youthful trauma.
٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ ( ◡‿◡ *)*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:
Lenny Kravetz (C ‘22) entered college without a sense of direction. “I considered Econ or English, even Visual Studies at one point, but nothing felt right to me,” he said.
Hey all,
“Who are we to fight against Mother Nature?” says College senior Sam Parker, president of the Penn Anti-Vax Club.
The UN says climate genocide is upon us—who here is tryna fuck?
Listen up. I literally do not care who you are or what your name is.
Did you hear? Lindsay is studying abroad in London next spring.
Alex Wang, a junior in Penn’s accelerated dental program, just made a career-ending mistake.
A study from the Wharton Behavioral Lab released today concluded that the Wharton School is the most popular charitable cause amongst Wharton graduates.
It’s never enough: College sophomore Jared Rivkin was extremely disappointed in the Houston Hall renovations unveiled this fall.
Goodbye Koreana, hello Second Year Experience! After announcing mandatory on-campus living for all sophomores beginning in 2021, Gutmann has made moves to open yet another dorm—New New College House West North.
Social chairs look no further—here’s how to plan a BYO when you haven’t slept since August and your phone autocorrects "dirty" to "darty."
While most students dread icebreakers, College sophomore Melanie Rosenthal has a fun fact that is hard to beat. After learning of her acceptance to Penn, Rosenthal decided to take a year off to explore her passion for cooking. One year later, she entered her freshman fall with a degree from the famed cooking school, Le Cordon Bleu.
Last week College junior Emma Bentley received news that she would not be invited to join the Penn Ikea Furniture Building Club. “I’ve always been a passionate builder—no—assembler. It was time to take the next step and move beyond my solo work,” said Bentley.