Coated in a substantial layer of dust, the Lululemon yoga mat she bought sophomore year rests desolately in the corner of her bedroom closet. It has remained untouched for the past two years — she last attempted to use it at home in November 2016, guided by a soothing Youtube instructional video on her 13” Macbook Air.

If Venmo doesn’t work for you, I can accept payment in many different forms.

Under “gross income,” Allen reported a mere $278,000. According to a representative to the Wharton school, that makes him the lowest paid Wharton graduate “by far,” and that “even the kids who aren’t working for a big three consulting firm are making more bank.”

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that having the Jo Bros perform at Fling would significantly increase the overall happiness of the undergraduate student body. It’s obvious that serotonin levels rise exponentially when looking into Nick’s beautiful curls or Joe’s dreamy eyes.

Cinemark was half-price, so Emily, Angela, Liam, Brandon, and Alexis were ready to have a wild night (Raquel couldn’t make it. She has an exam tomorrow, and she is so behind smh.).

haha i mean well yea my mental health isnt [100 emoji] at the moment u know

There's no way I'm gonna be able to get it done, considering I've been on the toilet for the past 13 hours.

I'm flexible with whatever compromise you come up with (as long as the PHL airport stays up and running on Saturday, March 2 and Sunday, March 10, 2019).

College senior Andrew Caplan is ready to say hello to 2019 and never look back.

Tens, maybe-but-probably-not hundreds, of students on campus rejoiced this evening when Penn men's basketball upset reigning NCAA national champion Villanova and shocked the world (except the three DP sports writers who "predict" every year that Penn will beat 'Nova — they totally called it).

Johns, who reached out to the DP weeks in advance, wanted to reject Thomas in a unique way.

Dear Ari—may I call you Ari? I hope so. I've been a major Arianator ever since I was 15 and really resonated with your hit single "Side to Side."

According to a school-wide survey, Alex Travers (W ’20) is one of the six students excited to return to school this month.

This Wednesday, a interdisciplinary research team from the Penn Fine Arts Department and the School of Dental Medicine published the results of a groundbreaking study. Approximately 89.43% of individuals who identify as male don’t really know how to smile in photos.