I’m prepared to weather whatever resistance I am met with by mothers, fathers, and every other fucker under a baby’s conspiratorial spell.
You believe this narrative that a virus from a chinese bat came all the way to America and shut down our economy for a year!? Everyone knows bats can’t fly that far.
I know what you’re all thinking: Aren’t there so many better reasons to sacrifice children than to welcome the harvest? The answer is no, there isn’t.
Why did I choose Sister Catherine? Why the fuck wouldn’t I lol.
We’ve all been there - 2AM on a Thursday night, one failed booty call away from dropping out and becoming a full time incel when we open our fridge and find our tub of Hemo sauce, glowing in the midst of so much darkness.
I just think that before we have a conversation about the negative effects of COVID, we should just quickly talk about the negative effects of the elderly.
This past Sunday Penn Police were anonymously tipped by a few students who said they saw “blinding flashes” and heard “what sounded like Optimus Prime ripping a bandaid off his genitalia” coming from VP 4th floor.