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QUIZ: Should I Take Next Semester off or My Top Off?

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OPINION | UTB Staff Thursday, Dec. 17, 2020Thu, Dec 17, 2020

Dear Under the Button readers, 

I need help deciding if I should take next semester off or take my top off for you lovely people. 

1. Should I take next semester off or my top off?

A: Take next semester off!
B: Take your top off!
C: You should only choose to take next semester off if you have plans to fill your time.
D: What size boobies do you have?

2. Should I not enroll in classes next spring or remove my blouse?

A: Don't enroll in courses next spring!
B: Remove your blouse!
C: You should only choose to not enroll in courses if you have an internship that will prove to your parents that you're not just a waste of space.
D: So, are you like a D? DD?

3. Should I not participate in academic courses this upcoming warm season or release my bosom?

A: Do not participate in academic courses this upcoming warm season!
B: Release your bosom!
C: Only choose to not participate in academics if you feel that your life has meaning. Having too much time to think can be a dangerous game.
D: How would you describe them? Perky or more saggy?

4. Should I fill my head with knowledge this approaching hot time or should I let the girls out to play on this nice winter day?

A: Do not fill your head with knowledge this approaching hot time!
B: Let the girls out to play on this nice winter day!
C: Choose only to not participate in scholarly discussion if you can sleep through one night without having night terrors about dying alone.
D: How big are your areolas?

5. Should I not partake in scholarly discussions with professors this impending springtide or should I present my breasts to the world?

A: Do not partake in scholarly discussions with professors this impending springtide!
B: Present your breasts to the world!
C: Only choose to not partake in scholarly discussion if you can drive your car without crying and almost hitting a toddler that's crossing the street, but not actually hitting him because you were able to pull yourself together at the last minute. This event definitely scarred you in ways that you haven't yet been able to articulate to your therapist yet. Only take a semester off if you are able to drive without this happening to you every single time you drive.
D: Do you ever get those weird black hairs around your nipples?

6. Should I engage in robust pedagogical debate with experts in their field this looming Eastertide or should I flaunt my mammary glands for all to witness and subsequently applaud?

A: Do not engage in robust pedagogical debate with experts in their field this looming Eastertide!
B: Flaunt your mammary glands for all to witness and subsequently applaud!
C: Choose only to not engage in robust pedagogical debate if you want to just kick back and smoke for the next few months.
D: How nutritious would your breast milk be for our potential future child?

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