OP-ED: Reevaluating My Self-Worth After Seeing Classmates With Wedding Rings

Skipped my first lecture, fifteen minutes late to my second course of the day, Wilcaf coffee and a croissant in hand. I’m starting the day off right. As I walked into my six-person seminar, the only thought on my mind was, “The only way this day could go wrong is if my classmate was wearing a humongous wedding ring on their finger.” 

A classmate was wearing a humongous wedding ring on their finger. My worst nightmares came true — and even worse, she was showing it off, flexing her lifelong allegiance to a partner she came to love through highs and lows. She fiddled and twirled it around her ring finger, smiled in awe at the precious red diamond, and… shoved the gemstone in her mouth? I thought people sucking on jewelry was a myth. Ew.

Once I noticed one ring, however, I saw all of them. It felt like everyone on campus wore that special binding band, signifying a connection that I could never attain. Why did so many people get married this summer? I saw all of the Instagram posts about it, but I never thought these young lovers would shove it in my face so cruelly (they walked past me, and I could hardly see their hands. So awful).

There is more to me than just a nice ring missing from my finger, though, right? 

Right?

Right, like how I enjoy a mean Wilcaf coffee and croissant. There are other things, too, like how I wake up and go on light strolls down Locust. These strolls are so beneficial to my general well-being because I go to Williams (academic building) and go into their cafe (study area) and order a coffee and a croissant (meal prep). I’m a very productive and valuable member of this school, who wouldn’t wanna marry me?

But there's not a lot going for me: no clubs, no habits, no social circle, no nothing. I didn’t even get my coffee and croissant today. I need to make some major improvements to my life and fast — I’m not gonna do all that self-help stuff, though, where they tell you to “go to therapy,” and “be outgoing to meet people,” and “improve your life in healthy, stress-reducing ways.” I need to get married, and fast. How else can I prove that I’m a valuable member of society if I don’t have someone by my side to show I’m not an incompetent shell of a human being?

The root of all my problems lies with the girl with the large red diamond wedding ring. If someone can marry her, anyone can surely fall for me. After class, I pulled her aside for a chat. “I’m sorry, I know this is a weird question, but what did you have to do to get married so quickly here- and could you please stop sucking on that diamond, please? I get that you probably love your partner a lot, but it’s freaking me out.”

She responded, “This is a Ring Pop.” 

“A Ring Pop?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Like the candy?” 

“Yeah.” 

I looked down and saw that the Ring Pop was significantly smaller and gross-looking than before. “Is that the same one? From three lectures ago?”

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah, yeah, ok, yeah… how old are you?” Since our conversation, my quality of life has significantly improved. I still don’t have anyone by my side, I still see couples who are too young to be married walking down Locust, and I haven’t changed my habits one bit — but at least I’m not eating Ring Pops in my 20s.