Guy Who's Taking a Break From Social Media Only Doing It So He Can Tell You About It

This guy who’s taking a break from social media is excited to announce to you, in real life, outside of the corporate social media overlords, that he is taking a break from social media. If he could, he would post that he is taking a break on social media, but he can’t do that because he’s taking a break from social media. Actually, he already posted that he is taking a break and if anyone wants to reach out while he’s taking a break they should text him at his phone number. Much to his disappointment, no one has reached out except his parents who tell him that they are proud of him for taking a break from social media but that frankly, they don’t really care. 

He misses social media, especially because he misses being caught up in all of the highly important internet trends that circulate in his social media feeds, and because he misses seeing just how many more friends everyone from his high school has post graduation compared to him. Still, he needs you to know that he’s better than you for taking a break and deleting the apps for a while (2 hours) and that he’s trying to improve himself via attention span resetting, dopamine cleansing, and internal work. 

He is disappointed to learn that it is in fact not that fun to be off of social media, so he is bothering you about it because he wants you to find it impressive and give him a like, or a retweet, or a repost in real life. However, this is not possible, and so he is finding it difficult to replace the feeling of acceptance with things such as shared laughter, eye contact, and physical touch.  

Don't you know that he misses the small dopamine hits he got every time his ex-girlfriend’s mom liked his Instagram story of some college party he went to with his three friends? He needs you to do that for him instead, but you are too busy scrolling through your reels to give him that.

The guy taking a break from social media is vaguely disappointed, but has now decided to start reading online pirated manga uploads to fill his time.