I’m Feeling Sick, and I Will Tell You About It

*Cough, cough* "I'm sick," said the prolific Karen Winters in Mean Girls. And I have been for a while.

And yeah, that's probably why you didn't see me tearing it up on an elevated surface and being the life of the party, because I just am so sick. 

But if you do see me out, no, I'm not contagious. In fact, please do come near me! I don't bite, unless you pay for that. I am deprived of human connection because I have been bed-bound to a bed that is probably centuries old, knowing the rigid 'pass-down laws' that govern how Penn students handle housing. I might have started with bronchitis, but after spending so much time in my bed, by the end of this, I might have a plague that was bestowed upon the Israelites for making golden calves or something like that.

So yeah, if you see me, you can wave! But you can also bow your head out of respect! That I, a sick person with a cough, am braving the elements and walking down Locust Walk all cute and bundled up like a cartoon marshmallow from a Christmas movie.