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Alarming! Mom and Dad Really Belt Billy Joel During Family Road Trip

(08/10/21 2:05pm)

It's summertime, and that means it's time for the family road trip. After Mom packed up the cooler and Dad loaded up the trunk, my siblings and I crammed ourselves into the back of the car. This year, since everything was so uncertain, we didn't have a set itinerary. The plan was to hit the highway and drive for a while.

Wow! Virtual Internship Just as Helpful as Virtual School

(08/09/21 9:15pm)

Rejoice! According to a recent study, students engaged in virtual internships reported that they are just as helpful as virtual school was during the 2020-2021 year. The study looked at statistics such as the percentage of participants whose camera is on, daily time spent on work/school, skills acquired, and overall participant enjoyment to inform the educated and mathematical assessment.

Junior Who Had 8 Months on Campus Excited to Claim Superiority Over Baby Underclassmen

(07/29/21 9:47pm)

Believe it or not, the start of the school year is coming up fast. With a freshmen class double the usual size (since we're certainly not counting sophomores who had only a year of Zoom as anything more than freshmen), this year's junior class feels particularly optimistic about the upcoming year.

Hey Everyone, Is It Too Late to Get a Summer Internship?

(07/09/21 2:34pm)

So, I've been going a little stir crazy from my childhood bedroom and am looking for something to do to pass the time. I want to be clear; I have been doing things. Watching Netflix and sniffing glue are worthwhile pastimes. There are only 8 weeks until I'm back in school, and since I can't find a professional job that will hire me, I thought I might be internship material. 

Little Timmy Claims “Freedom of the Pursuit of Happiness,” Avoids Cleaning Room

(07/03/21 9:14pm)

The 4th of July marks the day that we Americans celebrate our freedoms — while some hold their annual reading of the Declaration of Independence, others light up the sky with fireworks. But, according to a recent report, Little Timmy, aged 9, from Dayton, Ohio, celebrates his freedoms by refusing to clean his room, citing one of the United States' founding document.

About Time! Penn Freshman Finally Graduates High School

(06/25/21 7:41pm)

Since Penn freshman (now rising sophomore), Erika Smithson (W '24), didn't get a summer internship, she decided to go through last year's to-do list to find something productive to do. In her search, she found many things she had done but had forgotten to cross off including, "get into Penn," and others which she would have to erase because they could never happen, such as, "get into Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, or Colombia." 

Change Up! Dad Who Usually Complains About Never Seeing Kids Now Wants Kids Permanently Out of House

(06/18/21 3:58am)

In a new and noteworthy change up, Boston Dad, Frank Jackson (W '89), has announced he wants his kids, Sophie and Jackson Jackson (C '22, C '23) "permanently out of the house" in a press report on Friday. This announcement came as a shock to everyone since Frank has been known to frequently complain that "he never sees his kids anymore." 

Op-Ed: 20 Years Old Is Not Too Old for Father’s Day Breakfast in Bed

(06/13/21 11:54pm)

I know you wanted to go all out for Father's Day, but sometimes you're lazy, broke, or both. What to do? Time to whip out old reliable: I'm talking about Breakfast in Bed. I know what you're thinking: "But, I'm 20 years old, I can't do Breakfast in Bed anymore." Say's who? I still tell my parents I believe in Santa Claus, and guess what? Santa keeps coming. 

“You Don’t Understand Me!” and Other Zingers for a Constructive Disagreement With Your Parents

(06/07/21 2:41pm)

Home only a few weeks, your parents are already getting on your nerves, telling you to get out more, clean your room, and set the table for dinner. You'd like to throw a tantrum, but then you remember you are no longer a child. You are way past fighting. As a mature adult, you prefer respectful disagreements instead. 

Student Interning from Home Regrets Passionate Goth My Little Pony Phase

(06/12/21 7:47pm)

We all have embarrassing moments from childhood preserved by unflattering pictures of dance recitals, pairs of patterned pants shoved to the back of a drawer, and of course, our all too eccentric, overly-bright room decor left to make us cringe upon our return from college. Unlike my parents, who rudely never let me dedicate my room to my childhood crush, Rufus from Kim Possible, Sarah Golding (C '22), had a ~cool~ mommy and daddy.