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Looking around on Penn in Touch, where many professors are posting a course prospectus explaining the course format this fall, I couldn't help but notice that the in-person classes that were going to make up the "hybrid" experience are surprisingly missing! But surely a hybrid experience must be a mix of online and in-person, as the name would suggest.
After weeks of anticipation, Penn Residential Services finally announced housing assignments! I opened Campus Express this morning eager to see where I was located and if I would be with my friends. Imagine my surprise when "Dumpster #1 near Gregory College House" was listed.
What's that? You thought that you would have gotten the housing assignments announcement by now? The University said you would get the announcement by "mid-July" and you believed them?! HA! I can understand your frustration, but here's the unpopular truth: the housing announcement isn't late yet.
Many of us rely on the DP's top-class journalism to keep us informed, especially about Penn-related content. In recent weeks, the DP has gone above and beyond when covering Penn's fall plan. In one of their many articles, the DP sought the counsel of six health professionals.
Everyone on Twitter knows about the frequent #(something)isoverparty hashtags. People tweet for a few hours or so, then the hashtag runs out of steam and fizzles out, then the next #(something)isoverparty starts trending. However, for the first time in history, one of these hashtags actually worked and thousands of ordinary people have finally got the change they deserve.
Princeton recently announced that they will allow two classes on campus each semester. Freshmen and juniors will be allowed back on campus this fall, while sophomores and seniors will be allowed back in the spring. Although many fall plan announcements have led to students' concern, disappointment, and frustration, Princeton's new plan has sparked joy for many Penn students.
It's common knowledge that Ben Franklin wasn't allowed to write the Declaration of Independence because the founding fathers feared he would put a joke in it. Perhaps to an even greater extent than Alexander Hamilton, Ben certainly had undeniable "skill with the quill". As Penn students, we have some informed hypotheses for what that unrealized joke may have been.
The latest announcement that incoming freshmen will be required to have a meal plan has sparked controversy among students. In fact, "Why am I still required to have a meal plan?" is one of the top questions on the Penn Dining FAQ page. Some speculate that Penn just wants to rake in the money, but in reality, that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Penn's recently announced that no one will have a roommate come fall, a plan that has left many students concerned about their housing for next year. Fortunately, Gutmann has created a special contest to guarantee housing to 10 special students. "I've hidden golden tickets in the front pocket of 10 Penn sweatshirts in the school bookstore. The students who find the golden tickets will have secure student housing, so go nuts and buy from the Penn bookstore!" wrote Gutmann in an email to the student body.
Shocking! A recent survey administered by the DP found that a majority of students are in favor of a hybrid school experience come fall. We interviewed some of the survey's participants to dig deeper into the reasons behind this preference.
As I was scrolling through Linkedin, I stumbled upon a handsome Eric J. Furda only to find that at first glance, his profile shows no connection to Penn. Confused to find that the rigid jawline and picture-perfect smile I've come to know so well could betray the Red and Blue so easily, I kept scrolling down to the "About" section. I thought that surely Furda, a man who went to our school and has worked there for years would at the least give Amy Gutmann a shoutout, but no. Not only that, but who did he shout out? COLUMBIA.
After the latest SCOTUS announcement, which stated that firing people based on their sexual orientation is illegal, the gays have announced that they are moving to The Lone Star State! Eager to explore The South, an area that has been historically homophobic, the gays have packed up their Subarus and are u-hauling it to the formerly forbidden region.
"At its core, Ur Local Conservatory and Botanical Gardens’ mission is to improve quality of life and connect with the community — elderly women, garden geeks, and the occasional school field trip. As part of that mission, we are supporting the resolution declaring racism a public health crisis," read a recent notice on the website of Ur Local Conservatory and Botanical Gardens, a place few people have willingly visited — especially on Mother's Day — in recent years.
On Tuesday June 2, Suzie Coleman (C '22) ended racism once and for all by posting a black box and the hashtag #BlackOutTuesday on her Instagram and Twitter. "I just want to make space for Black voices, so I want to be clear that I WILL NOT be posting today," she wrote in her post.
The world was turned upside down with COVID-19, but after having some time to reflect now that school is over, I've come to understand that I really loved studying abroad this past semester. I had dreamed about sitting in charming French cafés and exploring the art of the Prado and seeing the ruins of Rome, but coming home early was pretty good too.
Sophomore Sophie Pearson would usually be hitting the beach to work on her tan, enabling her to flex on her friends come fall, but this summer she's got a small modification to her usual plan in mind. Sophie has decided to make the most of this summer and come back to campus with Harnwell's most prominent mask tan.
Dear Penn,
In a private interview with Penn’s favorite publication (Under the Button), Amy Gutmann announced some exciting news: none other than Mr. Clean will be stepping up as Gutmann’s Co-President this upcoming semester. “Our concerns about COVID-19 are real, we are taking this pandemic very seriously, but we also want to open because we are, um, ah, committed to quality education. For that reason, the tall, handsome, Mr. Clean will be helping us out this fall,” informed Gutmann blushing. “If he ever needs help, or gets lost on campus, or needs a back massage, or anything really, I’ll be sure to help.”
“Although we are apart, we celebrate virtually with you as you transition from Penn students to Penn alumni,” University President Amy Gutmann concluded the class of 2020 virtual commencement ceremony. As parents and grandparents huddled around computer screens wiped tears from their faces and proudly looked over at their new Penn graduates, the screens flashed suddenly. Penn’s latest alumni checked their devices to find the commencement ceremony had redirected to The Penn Fund website.
When Penn Security, suited up in full-body hazmat suits, went to retrieve Amanda Jennings' (C' 23) essential items from her room, they were alarmed to hear music coming from a room down the hall. The 4th floor of Gregory College House, which is basically deserted even when school is in session, was supposed to have been evacuated months ago due to the COVID-19 pandemic.