Student Gives Peers Exactly Two Minutes to Get Their Clothes from the Dryer Before He Takes Matters into His Own Hands
(11/12/18 6:05pm)
Kings Court resident Andrew Werfel (C '22) just can’t catch a break.
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Kings Court resident Andrew Werfel (C '22) just can’t catch a break.
Last Thursday, Penn professors unanimously agreed that inappropriately long, difficult, and stressful midterms are the best way to test course material.
Interested in a job? Looking to attain invaluable experience working at a place other than Papa John's? Have multiple, reckless nights at Pod left you broke and desperate beyond belief? Then do we have the opportunity for you!
The results are in! 10 out of 10 Penn students agree: a dirty, stained plate from Hill dining hall is infinitely more appetizing than anything available in the “comfort” food section at Commons.
From his pristine GPA to his extracurriculars, Preston Fleming (C ’21) was a guy who had school figured out. Or at least, so he thought.
Panic quickly devolved into horror in class today as fine arts major April Hubman (C ’20) suddenly realized that the abstract algebra class she was in had absolutely nothing to do with abstract art.
Rafael Bowden (C ’20), allured by Soylent’s promise to deliver a delicious meal on-the-go, is now regretting his decision to purchase ten cases of strawberry-flavored Soylent, a quantity equivalent to 120 bottles.
To the outside observer, Olivia Murdock (C ’18) appears just like any other student milling down Locust: earbuds in, chatting away blissfully on the phone.
Are you constantly hungry? Too timid to take food home from the GBM? Are you tired of pathetically begging your Mom for cash so that you won’t starve to death on the mean streets of Philadelphia? Then look no further. The next time you visit home, consider pilfering and pawning off these familial valuables in exchange for just a few more visits to Pret.
Some have a soft spot for Geno’s Steaks. Others are enamored by the skillful brushstrokes of yore at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.
You’ve tried BFF. You’ve already had a mouthful of BEN. Heck, at some point you considered trying PPE.