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On Penn’s campus, the Philadelphia Public Transit System (known as SEPTA) is fairly unpopular among students, who prefer either Uber or Lyft as means of transportation off campus. A lot of reasons factor into this trend: SEPTA is notoriously dirty, late, and can be a lot slower than driving.
For a certain group of students at Penn, the chance to study abroad is the opportunity of a lifetime. It gives them a chance to see amazing architecture, eat delicious food, and learn about a different way of life, all while taking challenging and thought provoking classes.
The stalemate between Amy Gutmann and the University of Pennsylvania has reached a temporary halt to end the University shutdown, which had been in its fourth week. Still, the question of the border wall is up in the air.
A careful balance of school, athletics, and arts is a good goal for any college student to have. But for sophomore Felicia Walkerton (C ’20), this balance has been thrown out of whack, and, honestly, she says she “just doesn’t know how.”
When Latisha Montgomery (C ’20) agreed to go out with Vanessa Rockefeller-Goldman-Sachs (W ’19), she assumed her date might be willing to spoil her a bit.
Members of the Seminar on 20th century European History of Warfare are usually fairly subdued – after all, this is one of the few classes on course review with a negative difficulty rating. Thus, it came as a bit of a surprise to the other members of the class when one of them seemed a bit too invested in a key component of the source material – the Nazi Party in WWII.
SATAN, the Unholy Prince of the Damned, Ruler of the Fiery Inferno, and loyalty punch card holder at Wilcaf was recently spotted in a writing seminar class this week, to brush up on his rusty torture skills before the Holidays.
Midterms. Majority. Two-party system. Imminent destruction of the country. All phrases Penn students, just a few weeks ago, were flinging around with the reckless abandon of a two-year-old on a triple espresso shot.
Student Health Services hit a new record for wait times for appointments: 615 years for major injures (gunshot wounds, compound fractures — but only really gnarly ones — active births, etc.) and 1,233 years for minor injuries (anything between a common cold and an appendectomy).
Although the original plan was proposed over two years ago, the UK's Brexit agreement was finalized this past week to be presented to Parliament and the EU in late November/early December.
Wading through floodwaters, Penn students have found water soaking their legs up due to the lack of drainage on Locust Walk.
Gentle pranks, kind-hearted jabs, and the occasional backstabbing is all considered par-for-the-course when it comes to living with a complete stranger in smaller quarters than a Tupperware container. But for this freshman, the usual callous disregard from his roommate escalated far beyond the normal hazing.
Pre-major advisors are meant to help Penn students navigate the crash-filled hellscape that is Penn InTouch. They are assigned before the start of freshman year and work with the youngest members of the Penn Community™ to aid them in their academic transition.
“I just feel like I have a wandering spirit. I can’t be tied down.”
On an average Tuesday night in Goldberg Lounge in Fisher Hassenfeld, the hall floor is usually covered in a fine layer of salt, with the occasional splashes of crimson from whoever is chosen to be the surface for the weekly ritual. Residents can be found throughout the night using the common area for their Satanic projects, and joining together with others in the house for a night of unholy fun with the damned souls of the dead.
Ah—to be tall. To be able to reach things on shelves without throwing out your shoulder and collapsing your mold covered Quad closet. To be able to get from the DRL to Huntsman in ten minutes without coming into class needing an oxygen tank. The privileges of height are many, and nowhere do we see these benefits than in the hellish rush for food that is Pret-a-Manger at class breaks.
As the mold in the Quad grows by the day and students are forced to relocate to the Inn at Penn, the student body has been looking for some guidance. Today, that guidance came from the President, Amy Gutmann, who called a press conference on the topic of the mold. In the crowd of around 30, filled with local reporters and people who walked over to see if there would be free food, everyone was looking for a plan of action from the head of the University.
The weekend is in full swing. You’ve been partying since Thursday (because who needs a liver or a passing grade in Econ?) and you’re heading back to the Quad, the fortress that is always freezing cold and burning hot at the same time. Unfortunately, you left your PennCard at the party, somewhere between the drunk guy on the floor and the ten lines of cocaine you finished the night with. So now, you’ve got to find somewhere else to have your weekend cry at!
Freshman Tanner Johnson (W '22) knew that when he came to Penn, the workload would be difficult. He planned for it, creating color-coded charts for classes, studying, partying, drinking, more drinking, being MERTed, church, one carefully penciled-in cocaine binge per week, and a one-hour block on Wednesday afternoons for his weekly mental breakdown, followed by Parcheesi.
Writing Seminar—a time-intensive rite of passage for freshmen (and more than a few seniors) which culminates into two portfolios of work, one for the midterm and one for the final.