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(03/26/18 3:40pm)
In this economy, there really are no guarantees. One minute you have enough money to support yourself, and the next minute it could all disappear. Eliza Hampton (C ’20) feels that she has really come to understand this. “My friends will just throw twenty bucks at an Uber like it's nothing. That’s insane to me, especially when it happened last Tuesday, because my parents still hadn’t deposited any money into my bank account.”
(03/25/18 6:17pm)
Frat culture is deeply harmful. Members of fraternities tend to revel in toxic masculinity, privilege, and elitism. Frats cultivate exclusion by rigidly policing who can become a “brother" and who can be let in to their parties, relying on ratios and other sexist tools. This perpetuation of archaic constructs allows fraternity spaces to become breeding grounds for hypermasculinity, racism, and sexual assault.
(03/11/18 9:49am)
What a guy! Freshman pledge Anthony Ludger (C ’21) “totally gets it now.” After taking a mandatory workshop on consent for his fraternity, it all became clear. “I don’t know how it took me so long,” he said coming out of the workshop. “I’m an ally now. Go ahead, ask me anything concerning women. I can speak for all of them.”
(02/28/18 8:09am)
Pursuing a concentration in finance, Mark Sullivan (C ’18) must know what he is talking about when he says that funneling money through a virtual app is basically a money hostage-holding service. That’s why he doesn’t use Venmo. “I would never give in to the fad,” Sullivan has been heard saying on more than one occasion. "My values and beliefs are the most important thing to me—I put that on my Bain application, so you know it's true."
(02/25/18 5:38pm)
I like you, Charlotte I really do. I cherish our friendship, our brunches, study sessions, and the fact that you’re always there for me when I seemingly end up at Allegro’s every Friday night. We’ve been through it all and I can’t wait to make even more memories with you. But, and I hate to say it, even though I really value our friendship, Char, I just don’t really care enough to sit through three whole hours of Indian dance.
(02/01/18 9:00pm)
Jenny Kalz (C ’21) had been through enough. From the hyper-competitive environment in her classes to the humble-bragging about Bain & Company internships, Wharton was just too cutthroat for her to continue in the school. So, this brave freshman left Wharton and transferred to the College to study BBB. “It’s just way less stressful!” she said, apparently unaware of reality.
(01/27/18 5:23pm)
Second semester freshman Brian Lounge (C ’21) still gets lost on Penn’s campus. Earlier this week, for the fourth class in a row, he hopped out of bed and headed to Fisher for his HIST seminar - War and Peace. Reading the syllabus online, he learned that the first half of the semester would focus on the “peace” aspect of his class. "The class is indeed peaceful,” he claimed, as he sat in silence every other day at a large table in Fisher Fine Arts library.
(01/19/18 5:54am)
First impressions are always important, especially if you are a 39 year old comparative literature professor without tenure. That’s why Dr. Ellis Dunham wants to make her class memorable. “The first class I try my best to go over the syllabus as painstakingly detailed as I can.” And it’s worked to win students over. It might only be the first week of classes but Callie Young (C ’20) already knows her COML210 professor will have a shining evaluation from her at the end of the semester.
(01/21/18 9:16am)
She’s almost easy to miss, but sitting in the far back booth at Allegro Pizza and Grill is junior Danielle Hough, an activist if there ever was one. And her valiant effort to keep local Philadelphia businesses afloat has not gone unnoticed.
(12/13/17 6:23am)
Ah, your freshman year, what great times. You had such a solid group of friends, too.
(12/06/17 7:40am)
The college dorms have their new worst enemy…and his name is that of every guy on campus that participated in No Shave November.
(12/03/17 3:50pm)
Junior Rick Sanchez walked out of his last midterm feeling entirely defeated. After stepping out of his packed Williams classroom, he realized he really should have purchased the textbook. The exam consisted of an essay, entirely focused on the text readings.
(11/17/17 4:32am)
Three-month-old cockroach David was extremely excited to come to Penn. He couldn’t wait to eat Wawa mac & cheese leftovers every Friday night or live in the highly-acclaimed Quad freshman dormitory and meet tons of new people and pests alike.
(11/16/17 5:20pm)
Max Krewall (SEAS ’19) reportedly was seen around campus telling friends he was “absolutely screwed” for his big CIS121 assignment due tomorrow. There was no way he would ever be able to finish in time; something had to be sacrificed. After thinking long and hard, Max made the torturous decision to not go to his hour long meeting. “I have to get this homework done,” he insisted to literally anyone he talked to, whether they had asked or not.
(11/06/17 7:49am)
Just in time! Dr. Wallon Bradley finished making his CHEM101 midterm exam this weekend in an all-night amphetamine- and caffeine-fueled stupor, according to sources in the Chemistry building.
(10/27/17 4:38am)
After spending almost two-thirds of a highly complex lecture on quantum mechanics discussing his recent weekend trip to Jersey, physics professor Dr. Leo Mandwell looked at the clock and was absolutely astonished that there were only 5 minutes left. “I guess time flies when you’re having fun identifying angular nodes!” he said, completely unaware that he had only covered two slides the entire class.
(10/26/17 4:59pm)
Over the past few years, a phenomenon has permeated the internet: the “Mandela Effect,” which is the misremembering of certain facts or events. The theory gets its name from the widespread misunderstanding that Nelson Mandela died in jail in the ‘80s, when in reality, he died of natural causes in 2013. There are many examples of the Mandela Effect, but the most prominent instance of it is occurring right now at Penn, as students studying for midterms believe that there is “no way” they learned this material in class.
(10/22/17 5:00pm)
It’s 5:00 pm after my three hour chemistry lab. In years past, this was the best time of the evening. I would run over from the Chem building to Frontera, get in line, and ask for my favorite—fully dressed guacamole and chips. This is my one release. It’s my 30 minutes of pretending I don't have any homework to do afterwards or meetings to attend later that night. It’s my 30 minutes when my best friends and I can get together before we head to Van Pelt and study the night away. Ask any alumnus what their favorite Penn food is: 9 out of 10 will not say something from Chipotle, but rather Frontera’s guac.
(10/21/17 5:02pm)
It was getting close to Friday night and the mid-tier-and-rising fraternity, Rho Iota Chi (RICH), was running out of ideas for their next unregistered party. They had already exhausted their short list of themes throughout the year—the jersey party was, as the brother John, put it “a success, but the theme we had last week, and the week before that.”
(10/13/17 5:18am)
When Alley Brockwell (C '21) was on her 400th mock schedule, it was her freshman advisor who calmed her down. Brockwell, a potential Biology major and premed student, told UTB that after her first meeting with her advisor, she walked out of the office reassured and confident in the classes she chose. “My advisor told me that I definitely wouldn’t have any issues if I took all the classes I wanted to at the same time: CHEM 101, PHYS 151, CIS 160, and even BIOL 251!”