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Last Friday, visitors to the Fisher Fine Arts Library found themselves at the center of a terrifying confrontation. Two unidentified men streaked into the main atrium around 2:25 p.m., one wrapped in a bloodied polo and the other chasing him brandishing a machete.
Most professors covet a 4.0 rating on Penn Course Review. Dr. Eric Malor wishes he could get rid of his.
At a pre-professional place like Penn, people have trouble looking past salary figures when justifying their career choices. This needs to change. College is the time for discovering your passions! For instance, I love math more than anything else in the world. I’m so deliriously passionate that nothing could ever sway me, not even an A- on Friday’s midterm.
Ally Lampfort (C ‘22) has been having a rough freshman year. Starved of validation for the first time in her life, she’s beginning to wonder how much she really deserves to be at Penn.
Ashley Banks (C ‘20) really wants to save money this semester. After blowing her discretionary income on succulents over the summer, she’s looking for new ways to cut down on expenses.
College is a time full of endless possibilities. It’s very understandable if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed with all of the choices your child must navigate. That’s why I’m here to give you a few words of encouragement: no matter how scary things seem, you are more than capable of choosing a safe, prudent life path for your son or daughter.
Penn’s at it again! After holding our own in the US News Rankings, we managed to make a huge leap in another major college ranking: the Reuters Most Innovative Universities list. That’s right—we’re number four in the world!
According to her colleagues, Dr. Caroline Jameston is the right hand of Penn’s chemistry department. Unfortunately, her colleagues would also note that Dr. Jameston’s right hand “will probably bankrupt us in a few years.”
Irene Sard (C ‘21) doesn’t hold her punches. Ever since she arrived on campus, she’s been The Daily Pennsylvanian’s leading firebrand, churning out op-ed after searing op-ed.
Alex Sanson (E ’20) doesn’t know when to stop. This deranged triple major has run amuck on the PennInTouch course selection page, slurping up courses like a tactless warthog at a buffet.
Penn’s CIS department prides itself on anticipating industry trends and preparing its students to lead the technological world of tomorrow. So when department chair Vikram Singh announced the creation of CIS 435, students were eager to see what was in store for their field of study. The course, formally titled “Technological Citizenship: Preparing Yourself to be Eaten by the Robot Uprising,” will be available to students this spring.
Curt Curtis (C ‘22) had a single dream growing up. Recognized at the age of two for his precocious musical ability, Curt found himself on track to be the greatest oboe player of our generation. But it all fell apart when Curt (who had his name legally changed at the age of seven) received a rejection letter from the Curtis Institute of Music. Bitter and defeated, he settled for Penn.
Midterm season is upon us, and maybe you’re not feeling quite so hot about that stat class as you were during preregistration. But there’s a way out—take a close look at that syllabus. See it? “Students may schedule a makeup midterm if they are sick on exam day.”
When Jamie Chen’s (C ‘22) high school friends told her that grades weren’t a substitute for a personality, she took it as a challenge. Set to enter Penn with a perfect transcript, Chen noticed something horrifically disturbing about the University’s grading policy.
It’s that time of year again. While most upperclassmen have settled back in their old campus haunts, Penn’s freshman halls lie mysteriously empty.
If you don’t count checkout lines, Winston Zheng (E ‘20) hasn’t been within five feet of a woman in months.
Listen up people. You’re never going to hear a story like this again.
You know, I’ve tried to be sympathetic. I really have.
Earlier this week, Penn researchers announced the conclusion of a seminal, twenty-year, longitudinal study about the outcomes of Penn graduates.
Marie Lu (C ‘20) isn’t your typical pre-med student. While most of her fellows would be content to give themselves a break after thirteen consecutive weeks of brutally focused studying, Lu isn’t one for complacency.