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New Study Finds 6th Consecutive 'Ice-ing' Way Less Funny Than First

(10/17/18 9:06pm)

A recent study sponsored by Penn's Office of Student Affairs found that the sixth consecutive time you force your friend to drink a Smirnoff Ice on one knee is "way less funny" than the first. The conclusion was supported in multiple different environments, such as a pregame, Banana Leaf, or in your living with just you and your friend alone.

Too Much Self Love? Someone Needs to Push Jamie Down a Peg

(09/30/18 2:39pm)

Self-love is so important in today’s world. In a society in which individuals are able to hide behind screens and attack a person’s every flaw, it can be tough to keep up confidence. Self-love is a skill that needs to be practiced. However, as of publication, most people agreed Jamie Lister (E ’20) got too good at it and now should probably be pushed down a peg.

Itchy Tag on New Shirt First Thing Junior Hates More Than Self

(09/11/18 12:02pm)

For decades, self-esteem of College junior Joelle Simmons has been low. While most in her demographic of white, upper middle class, Ivy League women have mid-level self-esteem, often referring to themselves as “fine” or “a little bloated,” Simmons’ self-esteem was far lower. One close friend noted that Simmons’ self-esteem was so low, her automatic email sign off was simply, “I’m sorry.”

Huntsman Closing at 2 a.m. Gives Wharton Students First Ever Urge to be Engaged

(08/30/18 3:24pm)

This past week, Penn administrators announced that Huntsman Hall would be closing at 2 a.m. The policy was enacted in an effort to curb stress and all-nighters on campus, effectively curing mental health issues at Penn. Wharton students are now holding protests after the new policy shined a light on a small dark corner of their soul saved for political and social engagement – a corner previously untapped.

This Sophomore Won’t Stop Picking at the Tiny Blemish on His Face

(04/28/18 4:12am)

This year marks 14 years since the groundbreaking documentary Supersize Me was released into theaters. The film followed Morgan Spurlock, a filmmaker who ate nothing but for a month and put himself on track to become obese. The movie educated a whole generation of consumers on the dangers of fast food.

Huntsman Student With Target Language in Russian Now Has to Live in Russia Next Semester

(04/23/18 6:06pm)

Meet Ali Johnson, a freshman from the Upper East Side of Manhattan and a young intellectual in the Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business. For a variety of reasons related to international affairs, Johnson decided that her target language would be Russian.

56% of University Professors Felt CupcakKe Said ‘Vagina’ One Too Many Times

(04/16/18 7:05pm)

A study conducted post-fling by the Annenberg School of Communications found that 56% of University professors felt that CupcakKe said "vagina" one too many times during her performance. The study also found that 72% of professors listening were viscerally upset by the lyrics describing CupcakKe as “warm and melted.”