Poser Alert: This Dude Rocking Vans Doesn't Even Listen To Tame Impala
Penn students are known for being pretty lame in the grand scheme of things, so it’s absolutely shocking to see a certified skater boi show his face on campus.
Josh Ogunleye
Gutmann Announces New Hall of Money to Replace Green Space Lost During Construction
When asked whether it was morally responsible to assemble an entire building made out of foreign currencies, gold bars, and the Bitcoin Penn bought, Gutmann lit a Cuban cigar with the second mortgages of struggling Penn parents and told UTB that she “doesn’t speak broke.”
Poser Alert: This Dude Rocking Vans Doesn't Even Listen To Tame Impala
Penn students are known for being pretty lame in the grand scheme of things, so it’s absolutely shocking to see a certified skater boi show his face on campus.
Uh Oh! Your Math TA Is in One of Your Other Classes and He Sounds Dumb as Fuck
As you turned around to see which dumbass made such an inane statement, you saw Daniel with a confident smile plastered on his face.
Gutmann Announces New Hall of Money to Replace Green Space Lost During Construction
When asked whether it was morally responsible to assemble an entire building made out of foreign currencies, gold bars, and the Bitcoin Penn bought, Gutmann lit a Cuban cigar with the second mortgages of struggling Penn parents and told UTB that she “doesn’t speak broke.”
Guy Who's Been Lame For 3 Years Excited to Finally Identify as Washed Senior
Talking about going to events and never showing up is basically the norm, so I can just make up plans for the weekend and if anyone calls me on it I can just say that I got tired!
OP-ED: How Can You Say That I Don't Have a Personality When I'm Wearing These Cool Socks
First of all, how dare you. I just don't get how you could say such a rude thing to a guy wearing such cool socks. I'm not saying that by having impeccable style I should be impervious to criticism, but, ya know, respect the fibers on my feet. Also, haven’t you noticed my eccentric short-sleeved button up? C’mon, I’m not on a beach sipping margs, why am I wearing this sweet Hawaiian shirt! That’s a pretty dope personality trait if I do say so myself.
Junior Who's Watched 500 Hours of Gordon Ramsay Only Knows How to Yell at Roommates for Not Washing Dishes
With the rise of internet food culture, it feels like anyone armed with a Yelp account and portrait mode gets to call themselves a food expert. But for one devoted fan of Gordon Ramsay, the act of cooking is an art form.
'Help Me Penn Student, You're My Only Hope' Pleads Hologram Dean Furda in New Quaker Days Initiative
“Between the emails we send, the flyers that we hand out, and the skywriting we've done, we really don't know how to engage with the student body,“ an admissions spokesperson told UTB in an email.
Study: Roommate Who's Been Meal Prepping All Semester 'Slightly Better Than You As A Person'
At the start, you’re really proud of the $3.78 you’re spending on every meal, but by your fourth day of chicken breast and brown rice you’re already craving a burger from Copa.
Yikes! Guy Bragging About Excel Skills Way Too Proud About Intimate Knowledge of Keyboards
During our interview, he was too concerned with achieving peak muscle memory to every maintain eye contact, but it was clear that the rhythmic clattering of his keyboard was doing some weird stuff to the dude.
Penn Researchers Find that Pineapple Definitively Does Not Belong on Pizza
Josh Ogunleye
Monday, April 9, 2018Mon, Apr 9, 2018
SPEC Announces New Spring Fling Theme: Please Attend Our Event Please Please
Josh Ogunleye
Sunday, April 8, 2018Sun, Apr 8, 2018
New SFS Policy Seeks to Simplify Financial Aid Process by Getting Rid of It
Josh Ogunleye
Friday, April 6, 2018Fri, Apr 6, 2018
College Professor Has Been Robbing Students Who Say That They Can't Pick Him Out of a Lineup
Josh Ogunleye
Tuesday, March 27, 2018Tue, Mar 27, 2018
Junior With Commitment Issues Abandons Food Truck After Making Small Talk With Owner Once
Josh Ogunleye
Thursday, March 22, 2018Thu, Mar 22, 2018
Wow! This Guy Wearing a Polo at the Gym Must Be Really Busy
Josh Ogunleye
Sunday, March 18, 2018Sun, Mar 18, 2018
'I Can Never Concentrate After Spring Break,' Claims Senior Who Hasn't Been to a Lecture in 2 Years
Josh Ogunleye
Sunday, March 18, 2018Sun, Mar 18, 2018
Junior With Limitless Spring Break Choices Eager to Eat Ice Cream in Underwear for a Week
Josh Ogunleye
Monday, Feb. 26, 2018Mon, Feb 26, 2018
Penn Linguists Incensed Over New Movement to Drop Periods
Josh Ogunleye
Sunday, Feb. 18, 2018Sun, Feb 18, 2018
