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Zach Whiting


Articles

Hill Dining Hall Harvests the Meat From Biopond, Lights Up the Grill

For months we’ve been getting complaints that our ingredients aren’t clean. How can anything be cleaner than meat that was literally just washed in water?


Such Beautiful Weather: I Can Finally Gallop Shirtless Through the Quad Again Like the Stallion I Am

You try to speak. I silence you with a forceful yet caring neigh. You gaze into my eyes, stunned at my display of horsey power. I lean in and whisper into your ear the wise words of 90’s R&B icon Ginuwine: Ride this pony.


We’re Both Thinking It: Let’s Turn This Coffee Chat Into a Crack-Cocaine Chat

Oh, what’s my major? I’m really glad you asked, it’s LET’S CUT THE FUCKING BULLSHIT AND SMOKE SOME CRACK-COCAINE.


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