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OP-ED: DP's Refusal to Endorse Anyone in Boise Mayoral Election Is Unspeakable

(11/07/19 2:19pm)

It’s hard to say what the proper relationship between journalism and the political process should be. The Daily Pennsylvanian has historically been forthright in its vision for the future leaders of this country, endorsing candidates for offices ranging from the city council to the presidency. 

Dean Furda First-Ever Penn Official to Apologize to Philadelphia Community

(10/01/19 1:38am)

Nowadays, it is all too easy for people in power to shrug off their mistakes. Rare is the official who is willing to humble themselves with an apology. Last week, admissions dean Eric Furda did something that no administrator of the University of Pennsylvania has ever done. Before the eyes of the world, he apologized to the Philadelphia community for his unseemly actions.

To Save Money, Pottruck Will Only Stay Open First 5 Days of Semester

(09/26/19 2:47pm)

With all the recent construction around campus, you might start to wonder where exactly all the money is coming from to fund all of those fancy cranes. Look no further. Starting Spring 2020, Penn will close Pottruck gym after the first week of the semester, and it will remain closed until the fall semester, upon which it will reopen for another week. According to Campus Recreation Director Dr. Saul Marsh, “the gym basically goes empty after week one. Either its people giving up on their new years’ resolutions, or realizing that their schedule isn’t quite as soft as they thought. No point lighting and heating an empty mausoleum for 12 months a year.” 

Clever! Senior Redacts 65% of Final Paper

(04/29/19 2:18pm)

Bobby Moller (C ‘19) has had a pretty rough week. With a host of upcoming final exams and little more than a Williams Cafe barista job lined up after graduation, Moller really doesn’t need any more stress in his life. That’s why, when it came time to submit his final report for PSCI 237 (The Science of Why Political Science Is a Science, We Swear), Moller knew that he had to do something creative. His report was a mess, and there was no time to edit.

Feel Old Yet? Class of 2023 Too Young to Remember Moon Landing

(04/04/19 5:53am)

Freshman year feels like yesterday! One of the scariest parts of getting older is realizing that the world is steadily being filled with people who weren’t even around to experience the events so fundamental to our collective worldview. Those who stride the halls of power in a few decades will be part of a different cultural dialogue. We can only pray that they will be mindful of the perspectives of those who lived their lives in a world long gone.

Wholesome! Entire Friend Group Pretending to Be Sad and Stressed to Make Friend Feel Better

(01/31/19 2:06pm)

Tight-knit friend groups are supposed to be unique to freshman year, yet this was not the case for Mark Lucas (C ‘19), who has managed to maintain a close bond with six of his quad hallmates. Lately, Mark’s been feeling like a washed-out senior: his classes aren’t going his way, and he can’t muster up the discipline to eat healthy.

25 Percent of Students Eat at Franklin's Table. Penn Should Cover Costs.

(01/24/19 3:43pm)

The lovingly home cooked meals I carry with me down Locust walk always feel tragically floppy whenever I see someone stride past me with a take-out bag from Goldie. It’s silly, I know. My parents put hours of work into prepping enough meals to last me the first few weeks of school, and I’ve happily eaten this stuff since childhood. But still, sometimes it's hard to escape the glaring realities of inequality at Penn.