BREAKING: Looking to Buy One Magic Gardens Ticket

Hey guys, Magic Gardens tickets just sold out in under 30 seconds — does anyone have one they would be willing to sell? 

Look, I get it. You have big plans to roll with your squad, but no drug feels better than the joy of giving. Ecstasy who? Help me out.  

Big parties can be dangerous — I am just looking out for you. I heard a rumor that the marshmallow-roasting fire pit is going to be bigger and more poorly-regulated than ever. Best to hedge your bets and hand over that ticket before sparks start to fly. I will take one for the team. 

Wait, $200? No deal, dude. That's like six classes at SoulCycle. I'll just try for Latin BBQ.