Cinema Studies Department Cancels Classes in Anticipation of Game of Thrones Aftermath
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April 28, 2019 at 3:26 pm
Concerned for campus security and the mental health of its student population, the Cinema Studies department at Penn has preemptively cancelled classes for tomorrow. "So many bitches are going to die, and we need time to deal with that," wrote department head Dr. Zed Shark in his email to students and faculty this morning.
Dr. Shark sent out this statement only hours after researchers in the department released a report about tonight's episode. Statisticians predict with 80% certainty and a 5% margin of error that the Penn Quaker himself will not survive the Battle of Winterfell, despite a flawless 200-year combat record. Students are advised to prepare for the worst.