OP-ED: Hey Does Anyone Have A Cigarette?

Hey! I've been meaning to ask you, do you happen to have a cigarette? Do You Have a Cigarette, I said. Does anyone happen to have a cigarette? Does anyone have a cigarette UTB can borrow? For academic purposes? 

OMG! Hey you! Does YoU happen to have a cigarette? Does you? Does anyone happen to have a cigarette? Hey guys, does anyone have a cigarette? Guys weird question but... does anyone? Have a cigarette.

Guys.

I need a cig. 

I know Under The Button Dot Com likes to joke around but we do really need help with a project that involves a Lot of cigarettes. Do you have several? Cigarettes?

But also, unrelated does anyone at the DP office have a cigarette? I'd like to smoke a cigarette recreationally. If anyone had a cigarette I would very much appreciate their kind contribution to my recreational cigarette use collection of cigarettes which I currently do not have enough of.

Wait... does anyone have a cigarette? No pressure, just thirsty.