Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Search Results

Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.

Jessica Excited to Finally Use Communication Major as Spam Caller

(10/27/20 5:34am)

When Jessica first told her parents she wanted to be a communication major, they were concerned. They worried it was a “useless major” that would never let her really amount to anything. Jessica’s parents told her that even though her midterm was just to have a conversation with a partner, she shouldn’t want to take the easy way out as an excuse to get absolutely shit faced every night. She was so angry that her parents didn’t understand her life’s path and she was spitefully determined to get a good job. During on campus recruiting, it was difficult to shine against students that were engineering majors and pre-med students, but she knew that she could do it. And eventually she did.

OP-ED: I Like My Relationships Like My Closed-Note Exams: Full of Open, Unabashed Cheating.

(10/26/20 7:44am)

When my professor told me that our exam would be “closed notes,” I knew exactly what he was getting at. Zoom college can get real #boring if we’re being honest here, and it was about time someone spiced things up with a little challenge. Canvas tells you if I open another tab? Perfect. My camera has to stay on? Even better.

Meanies! Got Weird Looks as I Threw My Gum in the Red White and Blue Trash Can

(10/26/20 7:36am)

It seems that everyone has a bone to pick with me about this one red, white, and blue trash can I threw one piece of gum into down my block. Everyday I pass it, I see people throw away letters, and I don’t bother them because it is absolutely none of my fucking business. But who gave them the audacity to yell at me about “voter fraud” over a piece of gum? I even checked if it was a paper only recycling can, and it said nothing about it. I don’t know why they think they need a whole trash can for the bills they want to avoid until the repo man shows up on their doorstep, or love letters from their toxic exes, but these people are really entitled pricks. They said the letters inside might need to be discarded because they have gum on them, to which I replied “Isn’t that the whole point of a trash can anyway?”

BREAKING: Mike Pence Kind of Hot

(10/24/20 6:39pm)

Bessie came into the Vice Presidential Debate ready to support her main girl Kamala, but came out sexually confused. Was Mike Pence kind of a dilf…? His silver head of hair, sharp jawline, the way he shushed the debate moderator with his strong, but calm voice.  But most of all Bessie liked his eyes. His masculine, Republican eyes. The kind of eyes that could watch a republic burn and see a beauty in the reds and oranges of the flame. The kind of man who can see a cow bleed out on the field and see a value in the temporal nature of its life. The kinds of eyes of a man who could fall in love.

OP-ED: To Gain Support Among Liberals, The Fracking Industry Needs To Get WOKE

(10/24/20 6:41pm)

The Fracking Industry is here to stay, no matter what those know-it-all scientists say. The Democrat establishment is now siding with Republicans (bipartisanship! whoop!) regarding fracking. Senator Kamala Harris set the tone in the VP Debate when she profusely stated that her administration would not ban fracking (#GirlBoss Alert!). Although the political establishment supports fracking, the large majority of the liberal Democratic base does not. The question that needs to be asked is… how can the fracking industry sway these liberal voters so it can continue to push forward?

Student Spotlight: Penn Undergrad The Lorax Accepts Internship At ExxonMobil

(12/04/20 5:37am)

For this week’s “student spotlight”, we look closer at one of Penn’s most ambitious third-year undergrad students. This student goes simply by “The Lorax” (W ‘22) and UTB was able to catch up with them to converse about their time at Penn, as well as their future endeavors. Below is a transcript for the interview we did for the spotlight:

Separate Town Halls Brings Nostalgia of Christmas for Child of Divorce

(10/16/20 4:36pm)

As the leaves turn brilliant shades of yellow and red and the smell of baked goods fill the air, children of divorce are reminded of the trials and tribulations of being auctioned off for the holidays--memories only furthered by this election year. The bribes, the desperation, and the pettiness leading up to Christmas day bring a sort of nostalgia to children to divorce when faced with the choice of two separate presidential town halls. And the choice of who’s town hall to watch was one of the more important choices of the week.