Greasy Student on Outermost Seat Effectively Claims Entire Lecture Row as Territory
Disaster struck during this morning’s biology lecture as Ulysses Wong (C ‘22) decided to sit on the end of a row of seats, stopping anyone else from entering.
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Disaster struck during this morning’s biology lecture as Ulysses Wong (C ‘22) decided to sit on the end of a row of seats, stopping anyone else from entering.
Last Friday evening, Alvin Weintraub (C ‘22) sent media companies nationwide into disarray when he downloaded an illegal PDF copy of Becker’s World of the Cell (9th Edition).
Good golly! You may not believe your eyes, but the person depicted in the image above is not a balding middle-aged man. In reality, Steven Gillison (E ‘22) is a freshman studying computer science.
In a bombshell statement made last Tuesday, Benoit Dubé, Penn's recently appointed Chief Wellness Officer, encouraged stressed-out students to skip the LSD and just “microdose on familial affection.”
96% percent of Penn students can't figure it out!
“Alexa, play Frank Sinatra.”
It was yet another boring day in Math 114, and Brandon Cole (E ‘22) was on the verge of passing out. However, just as he was about to doze off, something on the whiteboard caught his eye.
At long last, New College House has decided to hire MC Ride from Sacramento-based experimental hip-hop band Death Grips to call out people’s numbers when their food is ready.
On the long trek back from Leidy Labs to Hill, a strange flyer just happened to catch Virginia Hinton’s (C ‘22) eye. “Seeing it really brought a smile to my face,” Hinton said. “I don’t know who put up these posters, but they definitely did a good job making them cryptic yet heartwarming.”
Desperately brainstorming a way to fulfill his “Arts and Letters” sector requirement before graduation, Willie Blankenship (C ‘20) had a stroke of brilliance.
No doubt about it, CIS major and entrepreneur Joey Freeman (E ‘21, W '21) means business.
Foregoing amenities such as toothpaste and deodorant, Joseph Corbin (E ‘21) had finally reached a milestone in his college career: saving up just enough money to buy the newest edition of Super Smash Brothers. Now came the hard part: finding friends to Smash with.
Once again, Kings Court residents received a grim reminder that evil is alive and well in this world.
Ever since she was little, Rosalina Stewart (C ‘20) kept scrapbooks filled with flowers.
From the moment he received his PennCard that sunny August 22nd, Charles Chavez (C ‘22) knew he was cut out for excellence.
It may not be snowing yet, but the inside of Huntsman already looks like a bona fide winter wonderland.
Kings Court resident Andrew Werfel (C '22) just can’t catch a break.
Last Thursday, Penn professors unanimously agreed that inappropriately long, difficult, and stressful midterms are the best way to test course material.
Interested in a job? Looking to attain invaluable experience working at a place other than Papa John's? Have multiple, reckless nights at Pod left you broke and desperate beyond belief? Then do we have the opportunity for you!
The results are in! 10 out of 10 Penn students agree: a dirty, stained plate from Hill dining hall is infinitely more appetizing than anything available in the “comfort” food section at Commons.