According to her fellow classmates, Walkerton counts down to the end of each rehearsal, leaving at that exact time in order to make the different, and often overlapping, time requirements of her different arts groups.
When Latisha Montgomery (C ’20) went on a date with Vanessa Laurel-Smith (W ’19), she rightly assumed that her date (the daughter of the plastic tycoon Jonathon Smith), would be willing to spoil her a little bit.
It came as a bit of a surprise to the other members of the class when one of them seemed a bit too invested in a key component of the source material – the Nazi Party in WWII.
"Sinners from Penn kept coming down and saying ‘they’d seen worse’ in their writing seminar classes.”
Many Penn students can afford not to care about politics because those politics do not directly threaten their health and safety.
"I called SHS, and when they asked for my injury, all I heard was a five-minute laugh from the receptionist, before she said ‘lol, suck it up, wimp’ and hung up the phone."
"Don’t I pay enough for this school? Why can’t they just install gutters or something, or have engineers with tiny straws suck up the water so I don’t have to deal with this?"
On a campus which was awash in a midterm voting rush just weeks ago, wouldn’t these students who claim to be politically active on American issues be aware of one the biggest economic events of the past decade?
The regularly scheduled demonic ritual was interrupted by a visibly inebriated freshman.
Gentle pranks, kind-hearted jabs, and the occasional backstabbing is all considered par-for-the-course when it comes to living with a complete stranger.
“I just feel like I have a wandering spirit. I can’t be tied down.”
Freshman Tanner Johnson (W '22) knew that when he came to Penn, the workload would be difficult.
Ah—to be tall. To be able to reach things on shelves without throwing out your shoulder and collapsing your mold covered Quad closet.
Dr. Smith did not respond to requests for comment, but a one-way receipt for a plane ticket to Aruba and her latest Facebook posts show that she is far away from the stresses of dealing with the acne-ridden, stress-fueled, overly affluent freshmen who occupied her previous daily life.
The weekend is in full swing.
As the mold in the Quad grows by the day and students are forced to relocate to the Inn at Penn, the student body has been looking for some guidance.
When Malia Jackson (W ‘20) was accepted for an internship with Senator Patty Murray (D-Washington), she was reportedly “ecstatic,” immediately making plans for a short-term lease on an apartment and packing all of her various power suits.
Writing Seminar—a time-intensive rite of passage for freshmen (and more than a few seniors) which culminates into two portfolios of work, one for the midterm and one for the final.