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Penn Marriage Pact, Penn Crushes: Penn Engineers Just So Horny

NEWS | Lila Shermeta Monday, Feb. 27, 2023Mon, Feb 27, 2023

skdfksdfjsdj Penn Engineers are having more sex than everyone.

Grad Strike Narrowly Averted as Penn Allows Grad Students to Take Two Entrees from Grommons Instead of One

NEWS | Ivana Asiedu
Tue, Feb 17, 2026

SEAS AI Major Commits Suicide After Being Asked If Studying Wharton AI

NEWS | John Longyarn
Mon, Feb 16, 2026

Penn Football Rose Sale on Locust Triggers PTSD in University’s Nerds

NEWS | Molly Wisor
Thu, Feb 12, 2026

Chivalry Isn't Dead! Boy Saving 50% Off 10 Pc McNuggets Deal for Valentine’s Day Dinner

NEWS | Conner Meidt
Wed, Feb 11, 2026

BREAKING: Punxsutawney Phil Found in Epstein Files

NEWS | Ivana Asiedu
Tue, Feb 10, 2026

Ketamine Enthusiasts Excited for the Year of the Horse

NEWS | UTB Staff
Tue, Feb 10, 2026

Solutions by The State News