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A new psychological study from Penn’s emerging Lana Del Rey Center for Psychosomatic Excellence has confirmed what many researchers have suspected for years – besties who slay together stay together.
When thinking of the greatest fantasy TV shows of the past decade, your mind is likely to go one of two places: Game of Thrones and Outlander. These two incredible, thought-provoking shows of equal cultural impact have brought joy to the hearts of millions. Surely, you have experienced that same sudden rush of excitement when you hear the "Game of Thrones Main Title" (DA da DA DA da da) as you do with the "Skye Boat Song" (“sing me the song of a lad that is gone”).
Throughout our interview, Emma Rose Lipman only had a total of three vomiting episodes dispersed among a series of coughing attacks. She would go from wrapping herself with yet another blanket to taking of her three hoodies and fuzzy pink socks.
Fuck: Tampons - You literally won’t be able to walk for days afterwards.
Everyone on Twitter knows about the Penn student body's hatred for Penn. On any given day, one can search "p*nn" and come face to face with dozens of Tweets from current attendees bashing the school. Yet even with this widely available knowledge, for an unknown reason, high schoolers still think that Penn is cool and continue to apply. This year, Penn had its largest applicant pool yet forcing students to consider one key question: why?
Students were shocked when they received a University COVID update via text on Friday night. Upon checking their phones, students felt conflicted seeing that they had received a text from none other than Provost Wendell Pritchett. While some were honored to be graced with a message from the provost, others felt that a standard University email would have been a sufficient approach.
Nothing wrong here! The CIS major in your Japanese class definitely does not have any secret reasons as to why he would sign up for this class to begin with.
After sending both the text and email scolding the students of Penn for the recent Covid breaks, Wendell came to tuck the students in for the night. As he sat at the edge of their bed he told them that he wasn’t actually mad at them, just disappointed. He knew that they were bright, good kids but that he expected more from them. The students explained how hard the past year has been, and how they no longer wished to have consequences for their actions. Wendell knew that they were just misguided rugrats that needed a little love and support to stop them from killing the innocent people in West Philly.
Looking to spice things up for this Valentine’s Day? Want to make things more caliente in the bedroom? You’ve come to the right place! Here are five topics that will surely make your partner (and you!) have the best, most wild, craziest sex this year!
The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has wreaked havoc on all aspects of campus life. However, the famously loving and prudent Greek life community has not let that stopped them from creating safe spaces for their members to thrive.
Despite the year’s setbacks, the Football club (?) has moved forward with the time-honored, yearly tradition of Super Bowl Sunday. As shown through an abundance of evidence over the past year, the COVID-19 pandemic is far from enough to force Americans to abandon their beloved national past-times.
Last Friday night as you stumbled back from your COVID-safe hangout with all forty of your closest besties - it happened. A stranger approached you for your wallet and you – being the little bitch you are – gave it to them.
We need to be honest with ourselves. We cut Mask and Wig wayyyy too much slack. It’s literally just a group of guys. That’s it. Quick, off the top of your head, can you recall a single Mask and Wig sketch? A plot? A character? A single punchline? That’s what I thought.
After long lines and delays for COVID-19 testing, Penn has announced a new plan to fast-track testing for all students. The new procedure encourages couples who are dating to share the same spit tube.
Instead of focusing on lectures, I have decided to focus on atrocious floor tiles in my high rise room. After staring at the floor during my lecture, I have concluded that there are 1283 smears on the floor.
Wow, interesting! Chloe Clark’s (C ‘22) PennOpen Pass is a wondrous mashup of cherry red and oceanic blue. So chic, and totally showing off school spirit to boot!
Hey Babe. It’s me again.
Professor Brian Bernstein's Introduction to Biology class might cover the most basic fundamentals of the discipline, but it is rated as the hardest available course at Penn.
Stephanie was excited to introduce her new boyfriend to her besties. She sat them down for brunch and told them, “He’s a total hunk, you guys. Hot, smart, and gay — the full package.”
Trigger warnings can be helpful when you just don’t want to deal with the shittiness of reality. From disturbing news videos to naked women, warnings protect young children and adults approaching their wits' end. Finally Instagram has decided to warn us about the horrors of that 19-year-old Catholic high school couple that got engaged by adding trigger warnings before the post. The warning text reads “Happy couple alert! They might be kissing, holding hands, or proposing. Are you sure you’re mentally stable enough to feel the weight of your own loneliness?” Now instead of facing the reality that you haven’t felt another human touch since 2018, you can simply bottle your emotions! It’s a trick that white, WASP-y families have mastered centuries ago.