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Freshman year of college teaches kids a lot about life: how little sleep they can live off before crashing, how to bullshit one’s way out of everything and anything, and, without fail, the magic of Wawa. But mostly one learns a fact of life that is both daunting and enlightening: the future is uncertain.
There are a lot of things I’d do for a buck — don’t go crazy, though. I just mean like stealing a fork from Commons or something like that { Not to flex, but I’m a pretty good kid ~\_(*L*)_/~ }. There are just some forces in this life to which I refuse to submit myself. Standing proudly at the top position on that list: my writing sem homework.
Assuming the entire seminar of English majors had researched their professor before class, Professor Andrew Kim wanted to make one thing clear, he wasn’t going to talk about his Pulitzer a lot.
Penn students are finding it harder and harder these days to find the time to work out and stay healthy. Between studying for midterms and almost being MERTed, students are having trouble balancing self-care and the myriad detrimental activities they take part in.
Oh, y'all wanted a twist. This year you're not getting one set of UTB Valentines but two!
Why are y'all gagging — we give it to you every Valentine's day.
A report from Penn’s gender studies department confirmed Thursday morning that feminism was sent back 50 years after Friday’s mixer theme announcement.
There are certain rules about dating — or whatever this is (since he’s apparently “not ready for commitment”) — that are unspoken though completely vital to a sustainable relationship.
Despite disrespecting his home state, community, and immediate family last year by hopping on the Eagles bandwagon, College junior Johnny Sullivan thinks that he can publicize his #PatsNation pride this cycle without anyone calling him out on his bullshit.
Dear 69th Street,
In a study done by the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, researchers discovered that the water of a Brita filter, a $20-$30 water filtration device, is so pure that it can offset the physical deterioration that comes with binge-drinking and chain-smoking.
I don’t have a huge superiority complex, just a small one, built one better-than-mediocre action at a time. Brick by brick, as they say. Do I think I’m better than anyone in particular? No, my god, I’m not conceited. Do I think I’m just a bit better than the generalized “everybody”? A little. Here are some reasons why.
According to a Penn's Interfraternity Council (IFC), most Fraternity Chapter Houses — or ‘chouses’ —have been deteriorating at unprecedented rates this rush season. The IFC urged students to "take a second," and "seriously stop — the infrastructure can no longer sustain itself."
Reports confirmed Friday morning that, although College junior Kaitlin Murphy told friends she spent break “hanging out with [her] cousins,” the majority of her time was spent sliding down a rabbit hole of “My 600 Pound Life” testimonials on YouTube.
The Office of Student Health Services has announced a flu outbreak on campus, warranting heightened health and wellness precautions by all students. After countless checkups, SHS discovered the cause of the epidemic: persistent and unhygienic ass-kissing by freshmen in the midst of rushing Greek organizations.
As I stumbled out of my Economics final, exhausted, yet buzzing, from the heavy 5 Hour Energy swig I just had taken, I was greeted by the post-exam chatter of answer comparisons.
This Thursday's release of early admissions decisions for the class of 2023 warranted immense tears, hugs and pride of the admitted students and their parents, who are proud to fork over that 50 grand for tuition (not including fees, housing, and dining!).
A recent poll at this party I was at concluded that I Love It by Kanye West ranked #1 song we should all discuss the gendered implications of right now on this dance floor.
Here are the current Penn undergrads who are engaged ranked objectively by how wild it is to me that they did that.
Jeremy Landis (E ’20) returned to his hometown of Dayton, Ohio this past Thanksgiving break feeling particularly thankful for his Penn education — but mostly for his ability to flex his Ivy League apparel in front of relatives and strangers alike.