Most think Gritty is just some 7-foot-tall lovable, furry creature. And they would be wrong… as ‘it’ isn’t just that. Gritty is something more. A symbol of the city. A true protector of its citizens. The orange knight we deserve.
Walking home hungover from a “crazy, wild, but socially-distanced!” night, Becky took a few wrong turns and ended up at the corner of 43rd and Baltimore. She looked around, confused... A huge park… just right off of campus??
Chads, Brads, Tanners, and Todds alike have been very successful in quarantine at having women feel pain in all the wrong places… from a severe persistent cough because of coronavirus to vaginal discharge that smells like a Red Lobster due to chlamydia.
I approached the bench, unbuttoned, ready to wizz... when Ben hopped up shouting, "Enough of this shit. I'm going to make y'all as wet as my old French mistresses!" Breeches down, he soaked us with 33 years of alcohol-infused piss.
When asked how this decision will help out schools, Cohen stated with a smile: “The Penn Bookstore is committed to price matching any textbook needs."