OP-ED: The Herzog Housewarming Was Awful
There were people who were enjoying themselves, dancing, and taking photos. What kind of fucked up, twisted party guest would take photos? Have we all lost our minds? I do not take photos. And no one was talking to me either. That was everyone else’s fault for not wanting to interact with me. What an awfully curated party.
International Student From Greece Confused and Disappointed Greek Life Tabling Session Had No Feta
Greek lady did not live up to its expect to its expectstions.
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Student Staring at Girls in Pottruck Just Anthropology Major
The publication quickly realized that the student's binoculars in-hand and camera roll populated with photos of sweaty girls were not the signs of a pervert but rather just an anthropologist.
Yes, Tariffs Will Affect Castle Brother's Dues
As usual, economists point out that it is the American consumer–not the PPE major from Zurich–who bears the burden of these policies: tickets to Castle’s Magic Gardens will now include an added “tariff fee."
Penn in Washington Opens New Campus in Spokane
Students interested in the program are encouraged to reach out to their advisors with any questions. Applications for the spring cohort, which will be led by famous Spokane resident and critical race theory professor Rachel Dolezal, open on September 17th and close on September 17th.
Shocking: Eating a Caprese Sandwich Every Day of the Summer Does THIS to Your Body
While you were sitting in a cubicle this summer, so was I. One fatal difference: I was eating a caprese sandwich.
Last Night Was a Blur - Did I Enter the 9th Circle of Hell or a Penn Frat Party?
I scurry out, alongside two rats.