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Happy Thanksgiving! My Friend Told Me I Have the Facial Structure of Goody Proctor

I think it’s your nose, maybe your chin. It's like someone overlayed every white girls' face. 

Oh Shit! This Song Makes Me Want to Move My Body in Ways I’ve Never Moved Before

Oh Shit! This Song Makes Me Want to Move My Body in Ways I’ve Never Moved Before

Danse, dance, dAAAAAAAANCE! 

Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy

Damn: Insufferable Rich Kid Actually Pretty Drippy

Despite his decidedly insufferable characteristics, I must concede that this kid fucking dripsssss.

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601 Reasons Why Doja Cat's "Get Into It (Yuh)" is the Song of the Summer 2022

Spoiler: It's not what you think!


OP-ED: You Can’t Kick Me Out of a GSR in a Way That Matters

I realize I am damned to this narrative.


Green Eggs AND Ham, Commons Has Everything Today!

I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.


Sophomore Misses Midterm to Wait in Line for 1.5 Oz of Glossier You Eau de Parfum

It's so worth it! It really does smell a little different on everyone.


OP-ED: I Need You To Love Me More

Nothing is truly ever as it seems, yet everything acts in accordance to what you do. Therefore, extend your love to me!


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