Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Search Results

Below are your search results. You can also try a Basic Search.

None of Our Articles As Funny as Four Seasons Total Landscaping Debacle

(11/09/20 7:08am)

Yesterday’s news cycle was packed to the brim with news stories, and one that we at UTB feel didn’t get enough recognition is the shenanigans that went down at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Yesterday morning, President Trump tweeted that his team would be holding an event at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. Half an hour later, he clarified that it would actually be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping instead, a garden service center sandwiched between and adult bookshop and a crematorium. 

Excerpts From My Quarantine Dream Journal With Zero Context

(05/19/20 4:00am)

During these uncertain™® times™®, many have taken to journaling as a way of marking the passage of the calendar. But me? No. Why write down real, accurate, historical things that have actually happened when you can record the funny things your brain makes up at night? Below are excerpts from those documentations — phrases that I have genuinely written down after emerging from slumber, presented to you now with absolutely no context: 

Professor Submits Final Grades Late, Now HE Loses Half a Letter Grade

(01/10/20 5:52am)

Well, well, well, would you look at that: it’s syllabus policy revenge time. Professor Thornton has yet to submit his students’ final grades to Penn InTouch, but the deadline was last Thursday. And if we look at page two of his syllabus, paragraph three, line five, it clearly states that “Late assignments will result in a penalty of half a letter grade per day outstanding submission.” So ha ha—  see how it feels! Good luck with your GPA now!