Most Recent
Clem-In-Time: The Smashed Week-Old Cutie at the Bottom of My Backpack Just Saved Me From Spending $5 on a Slice of Coffee Cake
The coffee cake beckons to me. “Please Justine. I know you disavow coffee cake for illegitimate reasons of ‘I have no coffee in me, I’m all sugar, and you’d rather have your black coffee and occasional cortado burn a hole in your stomach,’ but please Justine, I’m only $3. I’m rose glazed. Wouldn’t you like to know what a rose tastes like?”
Marc Rowan Lifts Baby Bird From Ground in His Hand, Crushes It
Marc Rowan's Awesome Day
OP-ED: This Is the Scariest Place on Campus
I shudder every time I walk past.
OP-ED: Oh, You Go To School Just Outside of Boston? Like, Tufts?
Boston? Is that in Massachusetts?
Is This the Cultural Diaspora? I Experience Loss and Confusion After Acme Moves Ethnic Food Section
You’ll imagine my profound disorientation when I couldn’t find the “ethnic section” complete with tostadas, instant madras curry, white people trying to make TikTok cucumber salad, and of course, my Lee Kum Kee Sauce Chili Garlic - 8 oz.
Finally! Penn To Limit Study Abroad Students to Only One Private Story Post Per Day
We get it, you went to KitKatClub last night. Whatever. You can literally do that in Philadelphia too. It’s called TLO.
Op-Ed: What the Hell is an ABG?
ABG? I think one of my friends interned there last summer.
You’re Kidding Me! Junior Didn’t Get a Summer Job by Guilting a CEO He Found on MyPenn.
"Eh, I figured I’d talk to them for like an hour and see if I got a job."
Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Transforming The Space
How am I supposed to function in a space with the characteristics of a space such as this space here?
Fucking Psycho… My Professor (Small Seminar Class) Didn’t Ask About My Winter Break
I put in so much work into my ice breaker and they literally don’t care if I die or not.
Erm… What Are We Supposed to Do At This Cafe • Bar • Restaurant • General Store?
Some things are more beautiful when they are left as ideas.
Wharton Wellness to Enforce Chinese Water Torture for Students Caught Not Taking Advantage of Professional Wellness Circles
When Wharton Wellness’ paramilitary wing showed up to Gregory College House with a warrant, I knew that my luck had run out.
Finals Season Again! Here’s Why You Should Join Me In Self-Immolating Outside of Van Pelt:
THIS IS FACETIOUS I PROMISE THIS IS IN JEST THIS IS FROLICSOME ALL IS WELL
Hey! Look at These Clocks. Add Them and Guess the Time!
Time is not linear.
“Oi Mate, I’m Also From Manchester” Says Freshman Rushing Castle From Cleveland
When questioned for comment, the brothers only had good things to report about the now-international Trillo. “It’s just nice to be with some of your own,” responded a Castle brother from the Philadelphia Main Line.
Hope Is Not Yet Lost: My Professor Tells Me I Definitely Haven’t Found My Genius Yet
It’s not in Philadelphia that I will write my magnum opus or cure my own common cold, but in a place unknown to man.
Food For Thought: Huntsman Kinda Looks like The Panopticon
From the GSRs, the Wharton students who book them can see every non-Wharton student, but these second-class citizens will never know whether or not they are being watched.
I Lived It: My Wilcaf Barista Wasn’t GAY Enough to Be Making My Drink
Whatever happened to DEI?
Editorial: I Love You. I'm Glad I Exist. Yes, I Will Go to Your Show.
Everything will have been nothing when it is all over. You must do to be. Yes, I will go to Penn Chinese Theatre's fall show.