Time is not linear. 

Eat a burger, you sick fuck.

Malaise is the Pantone color of the year. Use that in a sentence today.

The 75-year-old professor emeritus was repeatedly asked what classes she was taking next semester, mistaken for an undergrad.

You are so bored and I know how much you hate that.

Cold lecture hall, be gone. Git!

The water there is just so clear. Almost, like a bottle of Voss, but not quite.

Now you know how large these buildings are, as well as the color of my nails. 

Is this some sort of karmic retribution for my entitlement, is the world mocking my self-assuredness, in an attempt to prove me woefully wrong?

Internships are seasonal, art is forever.

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania.

How was your spring equinox? I almost forgot to ask.

Check it out.

Buckle up and let's discover some great foods together...

Soupe du jour? Friendship. 

Flood, shmlood. 

Less is more.

Honestly, I'm feeling really optimistic about all this.

Disgusting.