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Maya Kreger


OP-ED: I've Been Thinking Recently

Thinking. Pondering. Wondering.

Faking Interest, La Deuxième

An advice column about love, life, and rock n’ roll, run by two of the sveltest broads in all of Pennsylvania. 

601 Reasons Why Doja Cat's "Get Into It (Yuh)" is the Song of the Summer 2022

Spoiler: It's not what you think!

Green Eggs AND Ham, Commons Has Everything Today!

I do not like commons green eggs and ham. I do not like this, Maya I am.

Such Activity! My Roommate Does a Mad Fit Dance Workout While I Lounge Wistfully on the Couch

For now, engaging in a Mad Fit Workout is merely an unattainable dream, one that I reach for, but never quite reach. 

Performance Art! Watch Me Eat a Pret Salad in the Reading Room

I wish you could see me now, Moelis Family.

Tsk Tsk! Girl Wears Dr. Martens Without Platforms

Is this what the democratic ideals of our nation have led to?

OP-ED: Give Me a Wet, Sloppy European Kiss on the Cheek

Get it over with, wet and sloppy, just like I asked.

Penn to Rent Your Parent’s Unfinished Basement for Student Housing During Upcoming Quad Renovations

Quaint and comfy, this basement is complete with visible wall insulation, industrial chic lighting, and bare concrete floors.

Photo Essay: Why Don't You Care That We're In The Poconos?

Please, follow us through our journey to what we like to call The Alps of Eastern Pennsylvania… or… The Poconos.

Quiz: Should You Go Blonde?

You could totally pull it off.

Girl Visiting Bookstore to Buy Tote Bag Only (Maybe Notebook)

It’s just so hard being so bookish all the time.

UTB Investigates: How Does Dry Cleaning Work?

I know I’m terribly naive, but doesn’t cleaning need water?

Slay Yes, Mama! Girl with Slicked Back Bun Goes to Gym to Walk on Treadmill for 10 Minutes

Is this the new face of student athletes? 

Success! Week-Long Mask Mandate Totally 100% Effective

The novel Coronavirus has been eradicated, thanks to your 7 day compliance. Yay! 


This app– it’s so good. And I’m hardly being paid to say that.