While you may have attended the toga party during your orientation week, hopefully you didn't miss out on Penn's Annual NSO Masquerade Orgy. Always a hit amongst freshmen, staff, faculty, and alumni alike, we checked in with some (anonymous) underclassmen to get their reactions on the event.
1. Use a string from the string store and a can from the can store.
Robert Kurzban, the Penn psychology professor currently in the news for having romantic relationships with his students, has finally given an explanation for his actions.
“I’ve been a fan of the ‘Sixers since Dr. J joined the team in ‘76,” Wharton freshman Billy Hayes said. “Been trusting the process all along, and it’s finally starting to pay off.”
College Green was covered in sleeping high school seniors Thursday night, as a lack of willing hosts forced Quaker Days attendees to embrace the great outdoors.
“I thought to myself, ‘I wonder how far I can take this?’” Michaels said.
In his stand-up set during the Chaos show this past weekend, Andrews warmed up the crowd with the standard jokes about his strange childhood and how awkward he is in social interactions.