I started out with good intentions. My project, Juntos Garajados: Building Garages for Goats in Bolivia seemed positioned to be the next big South American goat garage-building project, and I had my budget down to a T. I knew I was about to change the world.
If only the simulator had a drunk driving setting or an extramarital affair setting built in, it would be perfect.
Until College Green smells like syrup at all hours of the day, this university is not living up to its full potential.
Topics of your zines can include, and are limited to, ethical non-monogamy in Papua New Guinea, the intersectional bisexuality of John Quincy Adams, and the best places to masturbate on campus.
The nation’s only collegiate organization focused only on setting world records.
Think about it. If people here really got down and dirty before dating for at least seven months, I, of all people, would be reaping the benefits.
"Hinata is so beautiful and we have great chemistry, but Sawako is such a good friend and so fun to dance with.”
"Sending me nudes is absolutely critical for maintaining the security of Penn in touch. First of all, hackers will be distracted by the nudes and perhaps elect to self-stimulate rather than continuing to hack."
“Even though the IFC always suggested a trip to the Penn Museum, for some reason I assumed it wouldn’t be as fun as going to New York or Atlantic City"
Word up, son. Finna hit Potty at nine oh deuce.
BOO! Scared you, didn't I. Now scram! And go like that post or I won't let you register for any courses for a very. long. time.
Penn is adding yet another iconic public figure to its esteemed group of Presidential Professors of Practice.
The enclosure in Moore where the Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer (ENIAC) is normally on display now contains a late-20th Century Dell desktop computer.
I can only smell it in our room, but I haven’t ever left the room so it could be further than that.
The Garbage Truck has provided undergraduate squirrels, graduate squirrels, and squirrel faculty with delicious, fresh, and cheap eats.
It’s obvious that we’re blessed to go to Penn. We have great sports teams, a robust counseling program, and cold weather.
Having heard rave reviews from his friends, College freshman Davis Grant decided it was time to expand his horizons and try a pumpkin spice latte.
Penn’s favorite sex club masquerading as a dance group is struggling to stay alive.
Students in BIOL 213: Essentials of Vertebrate Physiology woke up to a pleasant surprise Wednesday morning.
Penn plans to convert all restaurants on and around campus to trendy, overpriced “bowl” places, Director of Hospitality Services Ann Herman said in an announcement on Wednesday.