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(11/10/20 10:01am)
On Saturday, the Associated Press projected that Pennsylvania would vote for Biden, awarding Biden Pennsylvania’s twenty electrical votes. As a result, Biden’s total number of electrical votes reached 284, surpassing 270, winning him the whole electricity.
(11/05/20 4:24pm)
After an orderly and uneventful election process, the next president of the United States was elected without violent public response. Despite encouragement from the president, white supremacist groups chose not to watch the polls. “It just wasn’t the democratic thing to do,” said Neo Nashi, an avid white supremacist. “Flying Confederate flags is one thing, but intimidating others from exercising their democratic right is crossing the line.”
(11/20/20 4:17pm)
Worried by growing Covid cases across the country, Republicans used their majority in the Senate to pass a sweeping Covid relief bill, which provides a stimulus package of $2,000 to all qualified Americans.
(10/29/20 4:22pm)
The United States mental gymnastics team has once again defended their title in the Olympic mental gymnastics event.
(10/21/20 4:33am)
如果美国是世界上最厉害的国家,为什么会有二十万美国人死于新冠?
(10/24/20 6:36pm)
In an exclusive interview with Under the Button, Russian President Valdimir Putin laid out his plans on how he will perform his civic duty of voting in the upcoming US election.
(10/20/20 8:11am)
I wake up in the morning, brush my teeth, and get ready for a full day of banging my head on the table. I’ve procrastinated a lot over the weekend, so I need to bang my head extra hard today.
(10/14/20 5:01pm)
Despite student government elections being held online, Penn students still proudly showed up to vote in the crucial student government election.
(10/05/20 3:23am)
Sometimes I just stare at my screen at my lecture and wonder why am I doing this to myself. I guess sometimes it feels good? I suppose it does feel good when I get a question right or when I turn in homework or when I complete an assignment but then I realize that it only feels good because it’s over because during the process it did not feel good. So pretty much the only reason I enjoyed the assignment was because eventually I got it done does this make a masochist?
(10/09/20 12:58pm)
As a countermeasure to alleged Chinese spying, the US Department of Commerce has issued a nationwide ban on the use of paper, compasses, and explosives.
(09/24/20 6:41pm)
Mitch McConnell being a fucking jackass hypocrite baboon fat fucking despicable elephant pig oink oink shit bat irresponsible ignoble evil selfish corrupt near-sighted buffoon pig dog hound stupid self-centered two-faced sordid insult to all turtles corporate slave rascal anti-democracy cross-eyed slow-witted turtle bastard fuck ignorant daft non-sensical base unprincipled shameful harebrained Russian-puppeted cuckoo inept chicken cultish head down in the pig bin sayin keep on digging pig stain on your fat chin disloyal reckless trash wild Benedict Arnold идиот negligent immature ruffian abject jolthead phoney devilish ogre-skinned low-life rankest compound of villainous smell scaled-skinned that ever offended the nostril pretends-to-know-Jesus unconstitutional crook actor charlatan wrinkle-free brain fraud cheat power-hungry snort snort excrement lusting-for-power reprehensible tight-lipped malingerer traitor lunatic silly churlish non-example infamous charade batty scum inhumane canker blossom of slimey puss and stink cow piss and shit sick to the sight jello-brain poisonous bunch-backed toad faithless hopeless dumb-monger goatish deformity of upside-down broken inverted nonexistent logic with strawberry ice cream innards idle-headed onion eyed window licker of the rankest ancient spoiled goat yogurt weedy cold-footed warped buttock pigeon-necked barnacle boomer too evil even for Hell coward dishonorable wrong discreditable henchman misunderstanding blind peasant beast of horns in the wrong places pox-marked venomous callous swamp monster lumpish haggard reeling flap mouthed miscreant rotten zealous radiator of broken glass mewling fat-kidneyed giglet.
(09/18/20 4:00am)
Lately, California wildfires have covered the US west coast with smoke and an orange haze, giving west coast citizens even more reason, in addition to the COVID-19 pandemic, to wear masks and stay at home.
(09/15/20 7:10am)
After spending more time than ever before at his computer workstation, Engineering sophomore Samuel Trout has announced that he needs another external monitor, despite already having four.
(09/12/20 4:39pm)
After spending an excruciating four years with my high school friends, I was excited to be on Penn’s campus. I was looking forward to making a new group of friends, meeting new people, and making new connections and relationships.
(09/02/20 2:32pm)
After months of practice and training, College junior Damian Trout set the world record for “Most Cans of La Croix Consumed in a Day” at 241 cans.
(08/07/20 4:51am)
Worried about national security, the Trump administration has banned the Chinese-owned app, TikTok, from operating in the United States.
(07/31/20 2:49pm)
With the COVID-19 pandemic ravaging communities, students have been seriously weighing their options for the fall semester. Penn has already moved lectures, recitations, NSO, and other activities online. However, Penn has not been able to find a method to move halal trucks online.
(07/23/20 2:54pm)
Having sat at home since March, College junior Holden Cofield is excited to return to campus so that he can sit in his dorm room instead.
(07/16/20 4:03pm)
In an attempt to force schools and universities to reopen in the fall, President Trump has threatened to withhold federal funds from schools that do not reopen.
(07/09/20 3:00pm)
As outlined in a recent announcement by Yale University, Yale sophomores will not be allowed to return to campus during the fall 2020 semester. The decision was made to decrease student density on campus and thus lower the spread of COVID-19. However, classes will be held online for all students.