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US President Elected Peacefully and Democratically

(11/05/20 4:24pm)

After an orderly and uneventful election process, the next president of the United States was elected without violent public response. Despite encouragement from the president, white supremacist groups chose not to watch the polls. “It just wasn’t the democratic thing to do,” said Neo Nashi, an avid white supremacist. “Flying Confederate flags is one thing, but intimidating others from exercising their democratic right is crossing the line.”

OP-ED: Online University is Just OnlyFans for Masochists

(10/05/20 3:23am)

Sometimes I just stare at my screen at my lecture and wonder why am I doing this to myself. I guess sometimes it feels good? I suppose it does feel good when I get a question right or when I turn in homework or when I complete an assignment but then I realize that it only feels good because it’s over because during the process it did not feel good. So pretty much the only reason I enjoyed the assignment was because eventually I got it done does this make a masochist?

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell Being a Fucking Jackass Hypocrite Baboon

(09/24/20 6:41pm)

Mitch McConnell being a fucking jackass hypocrite baboon fat fucking despicable elephant pig oink oink shit bat irresponsible ignoble evil selfish corrupt near-sighted buffoon pig dog hound stupid self-centered two-faced sordid insult to all turtles corporate slave rascal anti-democracy cross-eyed slow-witted turtle bastard fuck ignorant daft non-sensical base unprincipled shameful harebrained Russian-puppeted cuckoo inept chicken cultish head down in the pig bin sayin keep on digging pig stain on your fat chin disloyal reckless trash wild Benedict Arnold идиот negligent immature ruffian abject jolthead phoney devilish ogre-skinned low-life rankest compound of villainous smell scaled-skinned  that ever offended the nostril pretends-to-know-Jesus unconstitutional crook actor charlatan wrinkle-free brain fraud cheat power-hungry snort snort excrement lusting-for-power reprehensible tight-lipped malingerer traitor lunatic silly churlish non-example infamous charade batty scum inhumane canker blossom of slimey puss and stink cow piss and shit sick to the sight jello-brain poisonous bunch-backed toad faithless hopeless dumb-monger goatish deformity of upside-down broken inverted nonexistent logic with strawberry ice cream innards idle-headed onion eyed window licker of the rankest ancient spoiled goat yogurt weedy cold-footed warped buttock pigeon-necked barnacle boomer too evil even for Hell coward dishonorable wrong discreditable henchman misunderstanding blind peasant beast of horns in the wrong places pox-marked venomous callous swamp monster lumpish haggard reeling flap mouthed miscreant rotten zealous radiator of broken glass mewling fat-kidneyed giglet. 

Yale Kicked Out Sophomores for the Fall, Can Penn Kick Out Professors for the Fall?

(07/09/20 3:00pm)

 As outlined in a recent announcement by Yale University, Yale sophomores will not be allowed to return to campus during the fall 2020 semester. The decision was made to decrease student density on campus and thus lower the spread of COVID-19. However, classes will be held online for all students.