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(10/05/20 3:23am)
Sometimes I just stare at my screen at my lecture and wonder why am I doing this to myself. I guess sometimes it feels good? I suppose it does feel good when I get a question right or when I turn in homework or when I complete an assignment but then I realize that it only feels good because it’s over because during the process it did not feel good. So pretty much the only reason I enjoyed the assignment was because eventually I got it done does this make a masochist?
(10/09/20 12:58pm)
As a countermeasure to alleged Chinese spying, the US Department of Commerce has issued a nationwide ban on the use of paper, compasses, and explosives.
(09/24/20 6:41pm)
Mitch McConnell being a fucking jackass hypocrite baboon fat fucking despicable elephant pig oink oink shit bat irresponsible ignoble evil selfish corrupt near-sighted buffoon pig dog hound stupid self-centered two-faced sordid insult to all turtles corporate slave rascal anti-democracy cross-eyed slow-witted turtle bastard fuck ignorant daft non-sensical base unprincipled shameful harebrained Russian-puppeted cuckoo inept chicken cultish head down in the pig bin sayin keep on digging pig stain on your fat chin disloyal reckless trash wild Benedict Arnold идиот negligent immature ruffian abject jolthead phoney devilish ogre-skinned low-life rankest compound of villainous smell scaled-skinned that ever offended the nostril pretends-to-know-Jesus unconstitutional crook actor charlatan wrinkle-free brain fraud cheat power-hungry snort snort excrement lusting-for-power reprehensible tight-lipped malingerer traitor lunatic silly churlish non-example infamous charade batty scum inhumane canker blossom of slimey puss and stink cow piss and shit sick to the sight jello-brain poisonous bunch-backed toad faithless hopeless dumb-monger goatish deformity of upside-down broken inverted nonexistent logic with strawberry ice cream innards idle-headed onion eyed window licker of the rankest ancient spoiled goat yogurt weedy cold-footed warped buttock pigeon-necked barnacle boomer too evil even for Hell coward dishonorable wrong discreditable henchman misunderstanding blind peasant beast of horns in the wrong places pox-marked venomous callous swamp monster lumpish haggard reeling flap mouthed miscreant rotten zealous radiator of broken glass mewling fat-kidneyed giglet.
(09/18/20 4:00am)
Lately, California wildfires have covered the US west coast with smoke and an orange haze, giving west coast citizens even more reason, in addition to the COVID-19 pandemic, to wear masks and stay at home.
(09/15/20 7:10am)
After spending more time than ever before at his computer workstation, Engineering sophomore Samuel Trout has announced that he needs another external monitor, despite already having four.
(09/12/20 4:39pm)
After spending an excruciating four years with my high school friends, I was excited to be on Penn’s campus. I was looking forward to making a new group of friends, meeting new people, and making new connections and relationships.
(09/02/20 2:32pm)
After months of practice and training, College junior Damian Trout set the world record for “Most Cans of La Croix Consumed in a Day” at 241 cans.
(08/07/20 4:51am)
Worried about national security, the Trump administration has banned the Chinese-owned app, TikTok, from operating in the United States.
(07/31/20 2:49pm)
With the COVID-19 pandemic ravaging communities, students have been seriously weighing their options for the fall semester. Penn has already moved lectures, recitations, NSO, and other activities online. However, Penn has not been able to find a method to move halal trucks online.
(07/23/20 2:54pm)
Having sat at home since March, College junior Holden Cofield is excited to return to campus so that he can sit in his dorm room instead.
(07/16/20 4:03pm)
In an attempt to force schools and universities to reopen in the fall, President Trump has threatened to withhold federal funds from schools that do not reopen.
(07/09/20 3:00pm)
As outlined in a recent announcement by Yale University, Yale sophomores will not be allowed to return to campus during the fall 2020 semester. The decision was made to decrease student density on campus and thus lower the spread of COVID-19. However, classes will be held online for all students.
(07/03/20 4:20pm)
After Penn’s announcement that they would quarantine students in Sansom Place West, many Penn students have reconsidered taking actions that may put them at risk for COVID-19.
(06/30/20 4:00am)
President Donald Trump’s first re-election rally since the start of the pandemic was held on Saturday in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Despite long anticipation from Trump himself and his supporters, the rally only managed to draw crowds to rival those of Penn Basketball.
(06/18/20 6:26am)
In a press announcement yesterday, the town has decided to not remove the statue of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler from the town square.
(06/12/20 1:14pm)
(06/07/20 5:16am)
After complaints from officers nationwide were filed about their current uniforms, a new standard has been set nationwide for officers to wear uniforms consisting of a black hood and cloak. Their weapons will be replaced with a scythe. There has been mixed reactions among the police community.
(06/02/20 4:00am)
Stuck at home during the quarantine, Engineering junior Gene Rosewater has resolved to exercise daily.
(05/26/20 12:47pm)
Ever since spring semester ended, College sophomore Gene Carr has found it difficult to maintain his motivation and will to live.
(05/23/20 4:00am)
Refusing to let the global shutdown destroy her aspirations for world travel, Wharton junior Dolores Park has found a new way to travel the world.