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Student Shocked to Find Annoying Kid Making Loud Comments in Lecture Recording Is Himself

(02/23/19 3:34pm)

Matt Logan (C ’21) made the shocking discovery recently that the most annoying kid in his MKTG205 class is actually him. Earlier that day, he sat down to speed watch his lecture for his exam only to find it loudly interrupted periodically by a side conversation of two boys in the back. The video of the lecture shows the professor and countless students in the front row rolling their eyes and sighing in reference to the two students in the back. Matt himself was rolling his eyes in his VP booth, trying to rewind to his professor’s comments which were entangled with voices of two boys commenting about each others’ new benching records. “180 pounds is weak,” he whispered while rewinding yet again – even though those was definitely his words. 

Here’s Why Iced Coffee Should Not Be Your Lunch Today and Here’s Why I Won’t Listen

(02/04/19 5:28am)

I am pretty sure my daily iced coffee doused in Splenda and a splash of half-and-half is ruining my health. I have been victim to a number of health issues since I've become addicted – headaches, constant peeing, light stomach aches, a twitching eye, and tardiness to all of my morning classes. 

How to Pick the Best Restaurants on Campus to Take Your Visiting Family to Drown Out Your Arguments

(02/05/19 3:55pm)

A visiting family can be a lot to deal with. It’s likely that before they even arrive, they are planning a fight already. If you’re going to have a fight with your family, you might as well plan for it to be at one of campus’ most argument-accommodating restaurants. Here’s how to choose. 

How to See a Future with Him Even Though He Leaves His Wet Clothes in the Washer Overnight

(10/23/18 2:51pm)

Arman Gupta and Allie Jacobs (C ’19) are in a great relationship. In fact, she often fantasizes about their future together. He is sweet, funny, smart, and kind. But, there’s one catch. Every time he washes his clothes (which is once every two months, a problem in and of itself), he tends to just completely forget about it, and when reminded his clothes are still in there, claims to be too tired to remove them. “I’ll just do it tomorrow,” he always says. His dorm manners are definitely not husband material, but here’s how to see a future with him even though his clothes have probably been sitting in the washer overnight. 

Study Abroad Student Returns With Exotic Tapestry From Target to Hang in Dorm

(10/15/18 1:03am)

Upon moving her belongings into her room, Kate Lanthorpe (C ’20) was praised for her wall artwork— especially the beautiful and exotic tapestry she got from Target. “I’m an interior design major,” said her roommate, “and I have never felt so intimidated in my life by the gorgeous designs on the tapestry. It just screams, ‘I have been to a really cool, far away destination that you have never been to and never will.’” 

OP-ED: Is He Flirting With You or Giving You a Look Because You Can't Stop Coughing?

(10/11/18 4:36pm)

Flirting is hard, especially when you’re coughing manically at the same time. The ability to pick up on subtle cues is essential in the dating game. Sometimes though, it’s hard to tell though if a potential boyfriend is flirting with you or just giving you a look while you’re in the middle of a cough attack in Fisher Fine Arts. Here are some tips to figure it out once and for all. 

Student to Spend Next Four Years Rescheduling Plans with Friend

(09/30/18 2:35pm)

Hours before she was supposed to hang out with longtime friend Katy, Sarah Kiefer (C ’19) sent her a quick text canceling their dinner plans, saying she was “so busy UGH.” “No worries! Monday?” asked Katy. Sarah replied “Of course!” as she changed into pajamas and turned on Netflix, not even bothering to put the dinner into her schedule for Monday.

​Friends and Huntsman Automatic Sinks Stopped Noticing Student

(05/04/18 3:20am)

William O’Brien (C ’18) is about to graduate, but is already feeling sad and lonely, nervous about what his new life would bring. His days are numbered and now more than ever he wants to be noticed. Unfortunately, he has drifted apart from many of his friends these past few months. He has come to term with the fact that many of them have moved on in life, even though he suspects a lot of it has to do with the fact that he still doesn’t have Venmo.

What I Learned From Struggling My First Year at Penn and Literally Every Year After That

(04/15/18 2:55pm)

The first year of college can be challenging. You have no idea what to expect and you end up learning important lessons the hard way. And the learning doesn’t stop there. If there’s one thing that’s harder than struggling after your first year, it’s struggling many more times your second, third, fourth, and if you failed CIS160, your fifth years at Penn.

​Fate of Entire Evening Left Up to Copa ID Scanner

(04/19/18 9:12am)

Kathleen Grover (C ’21) and her friends were so excited when the IDGod order shipped. They couldn’t wait to hit up every happy hour at Copa and Distrito. Unfortunately, the deciding factor of whether they would have a night full of flavored margaritas or a night sitting on Kathleen’s couch in Harrison after a frat crawl was one foreboding scanner.

New Frat Position Formed to Help Brothers Find Dates for Date Nights

(03/31/18 9:32pm)

Everyone knows real frat boys don’t date. So when date nights and formals come around, it undoubtedly gets a bit nerve-wracking. Obviously, they don't get too nervous though, because they are really cool guys and can totally ask any girl they want. But just in case, it’s nice to have a backup.