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Under the Button is a silly little magazine staffed by silly little writers and videographers. We make silly little jokes for our silly little readers. But we can’t do it without your help. We need silly little dollars from your silly little wallet to keep writing silly little articles.
We at Under the Button were deeply saddened to learn about the passing of Alex Trebek, the longtime iconic host of Jeopardy. Jeopardy was fundamental to many of our childhoods and pivotal in the formation of our deadpan, quick-witted comedy styles.
We’re about halfway into November, and I’m sure some of you sinful little maggots are thinking about breaking your pact with our Lord (Jesus Christ). For those freaks, the temptation of nut this November is rapidly boiling. You better hope it doesn’t boil over at my dinner table. If you attempt to enter the premises with a p*can pie, I will involuntarily make you regret it. Expect a personal head-to-toe coating of projectile vomit.
Fuckkkk.
Structural racism has long negated the linguistic artistry of the rap genre. Rap has been — and continues to be — derided as an artistically useless and sonically ignorant cultural form born of the destitute sociopolitical conditions faced by Black Americans. These criticisms are typically rooted in a severe and racist misunderstanding of the linguistic life of Black Americans, which can lean on semantic and sonic schisms from conventional American English. These criticisms are heightened in the case of Black female rap artists, whose dual identities as Black women privies them to a separate, but overlapping, host of lingual smears. Denigrators of art made by women express gripes with its overt reclamation of female sexuality and “frivolous” subject matter. These protests are born of a deep-seated misapprehension of the inventively nuanced ways that women can use language when given a political or cultural platform.
Racial tensions ebb and flow pretty predictably with the torrent of social change in the United States. Election years, pandemics, and wars have all exacerbated the circumstance of American racial conflict for centuries. 2020 in particular is no stranger to the chronic condition of racial unrest, with the state-sanctioned murder of Black Americans triggering protests and discourse regarding the state of racial affairs in this country.
Across 12 Schools, more than 25,000 students, and more than 4,000 faculty members, Penn pledges to become one university: a wide-ranging, ever-changing community that draws its strength from a multitude sexual orientations.
West Philly transplant Gus Dupuis has spent the past six months in Clark Park building a light installation for all to behold at night. The project started as a quarantine pastime, but has quickly evolved into a public art spectacle. The light exhibit, installed nightly in the bottom of the grass bowl, is an installation made of what appears to be a row of plastic grocery bags taped on top of a 20-foot long stretch of LED strip lights that grows every night. The installation is mesmerizing to say the least, an avant-garde commentary on the ever-increasing, yet seemingly disposable diversity of our modern society.
Listen up, queers. Last night was tough – not because it was another wasted wishing you were at Woody’s – but because Amy Coney Barrett was officially confirmed to the Supreme Court. It can be hard to believe that this noted girl boss doesn’t have a progressive track record. After all she is a woman! Like, what’s up with that? Anyways, it is pretty obvious gay rights are on the chopping block. Here are some helpful ways you can announce you’re going back in the closet to live your best authentic life as a straight person.
Need help whacking one out? UTB's got you covered!
My parents got divorced when I was three years old. I don’t remember much of them being together, and I don’t really remember them getting separated. Maybe my parents did a better-than-average job of managing the circumstances, but having divorced parents was never my Herculean origin story. I always saw their divorce as a natural conclusion to an incompatible pairing, a necessary sacrifice to be made for the sake of our family’s emotional health.
Does the youthful joy of an innocent pony mean nothing to you?
To cap off Thursday’s lecture in HIST-145: European Fascism and WWII, Professor Rosenblum announced to the class that the first mid-term essay would officially be due at 9 pm on October 15, as if Sam Jafri (W ‘22) was taking the course for a letter grade.
After a disappointing spring term and a monotonous summer, Lily Garcia (C '23) was excited to get back to all of her classes this semester. The sophomore and PoliSci major was ready to get back onto her Zoom account that she first opened last March, and, through the platform, begin making direct and sustained eye contact with herself for 15-25 hours a week.
Penn’s recent announcement to suspend all on-campus housing was met with a great deal of shock. Many students relied on University campus infrastructure and community for their fall academic plans. Students cited various resources missing from their home environment that would hinder their studies: a reliable WiFi connection, a quiet workspace, and a plug. During this time of uncertainty, one thing is certain; for some students, an at-home college experience is impossible.
The recent updates related to the fall semester threw a wrench in Penn students hopes to spend their fall semester enjoying Penn’s luxurious dorms and dining offerings. While on-campus housing is now largely closed, students who planned to return on campus now worry about the whereabouts and condition of their stored belongings.
In an unprecedented first, leading scholars and personalities in every academic and professional field — political science, economics, fashion, public health, math, among others — have announced that Kelsey Costello (C '23) has never been wrong about anything on her twitter.
In this era of time, often described as “unprecedented,” it can be hard to know how to act and what to do. Is the novel coronavirus real? Will it affect you? Is it the genre of novel you even care about? And most importantly… should it keep you from going to that party?
University administrators released a statement to the Penn community this past Friday with an updated social compact for this fall’s on-campus programing. Despite unprecedented surges in COVID-19 cases this summer, the University is moving forward with their plans for an on-campus fall. Despite recommendations from epidemiologists for frequent and randomized testing, the school is moving forward with guidelines that, primarily, rest on a request for all students to, “sit very, very still.”