Perry World House to Get Even Bigger TV
(01/25/20 5:00am)
In a much-anticipated announcement, Amy Gutmann told students this Friday that the school is planning to put an even bigger television in Perry World House.
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In a much-anticipated announcement, Amy Gutmann told students this Friday that the school is planning to put an even bigger television in Perry World House.
Early Sunday morning, Penn Pan-Hellenic assuaged community concern, clarifying that the rush system, wherein Susan Kornblatt of Kappa Gamma gets to rank freshman girls by her own perceived notion of their value, is actually feminist.
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With a single click and a sly smirk, 22-year-old, recent college graduate, Becca Lindenberg, finally got around to updating her LinkedIn profile. Now, everyone would know Becca is a full-time analyst working on McKinsey’s Concentration Camp Efficiency team, helping ICE detain migrant families in the cruelest ways possible.
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Friday afternoon, two Democratic candidates, neither of whom are Elizabeth Warren, are set to speak on campus — as if I care.
You could say that I’m a feminist. I go to the Vagina Monologues. I only watch lesbian porn. I only flinch a little when girls ask me to go down on them. And when my girl and I are getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, I’m not afraid to gasp “Mommy!” when she’s treating me right.
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After three shots of fireball in her sorority sister’s apartment, Rebecca is reporting she’s actually pretty gone right now.
When I was asked to attend a Penn performing arts show to write a review for Under the Button, I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. Just 15 minutes into the show, one thing was clear to me and everyone in the audience, these guys were having fun. With all of the dancing, and singing, and costumes, this show was about to be a blast for them.
Hey….!
While en route to The Fresh Grocer at 2:00 A.M. this Tuesday morning, I decided (or was it fate?) to walk by Smokey Joe’s because I seek out contrast so that I may exist in my truest form as a contrarian.
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